9/11 Truth Movement Calls for Investigation of USS New York Construction

Willby N. Ething, a popular blogger and advocate for what he refers to as the 9/11 Truth Movement, has called on Congress to open an investigation into the alleged construction of the newly christened U.S.S. New York, which was just today set to sea using steel recovered from the World Trade Centers.

"As anyone who has followed the movement can tell you," Mr. Ething, who goes by the web name "truthseeker911", told Commonwealth Media reporters today, shortly before the library evicted him for staying well past his allotted time, cutting into a reading of The Hungry, Hungry Caterpillar, which he accused to be a stage by the U.S. government to silence his meeting, "fire just can't melt steel, especially the kind used in the construction of the World Trade Center. Therefore the notion that we could take the steel from the World Trade Center and actually make it into the shape of a hull? Utterly preposterous."

He argued that the only logical explanation is that imported steel, likely from Japan, was the source of the New York's hull, and that the Bush Administration has spread, as propaganda, the myth that WTC steel was used instead.

"It's a disgusting ploy to play on American sensitivities towards the subject," Mr. Ething said as he left the Westbrooke Country Library.

The internet has seen an explosion of outcry against the New York's christening, calling it additional proof that there were controlled demolitions inside of the World Trade Centers, especially WTC-7. Specifically, Dotty England's inability to break her champagne bottle on the first attempt against the ship's bow, truth movers argue, represented just how durable the materials of the World Trade Centers were.

"If you look at the zoomed in images," one anonymous Loose Change enthusiast argued, "you can see that, in line with Dick Cheney's demomania, there was actually a small charge inside of the champagne bottle. The problem is, Ms. England swung too quickly, that's why it didn't break the first time."

He would not elaborate on the conflicting theory that Mr. Ething holds that fire couldn't have possibly been used to melt the steel to put it into the New York in the first place, instead insisting that this is proof that only controlled demolitions could have brought the towers down.

The White House did not immediately respond to telephone calls inquiring about the authenticity of the claims, which Mr. Ething's website, 911wasaninsidejobtostealoil.ru, argues is further proof that the Bush Administration refuses to credit the American people with a full scale investigation of the construction of the ship.

"He says we should never forget, it's right there on the motto of the New York, I agree, we should never forget that Bush has a vast army of deathly loyal secret agents who are all willing to die for him if it meant advancing his corporate cause, and frankly, we have to reveal the truth, we have to," Mr. Ething said in an email correspondence with Commonwealth Media.

Metallurgist Cole York, of the magazine Well Known Mechanics, points out that all steel has to, at one point or another, be melted in order to become a part of a ship, but conceded that he could not comment on the break level of a bottle of champagne.

"I'm really uh...not qualified to speculate on how much tolerance a glass bottle can take against a steel hull," he said.

"At least the experts are willing to admit that they're just not that expert at all," Willby Ething said on his latest blog entry in response to Mr. York.