A is for Age: How Old Should I Be when I Get Married?

There are child brides and college brides. There are brides who are pre, mid and post career. Then there are late in life brides. For the women who are not brides yet, deciding on the right time of life to marry can be a difficult decision.

Many women wince at marrying too young. The prospect of marrying and having to rearrange a life filled with their profession and all its perks can be just as daunting. Likewise, there is still a stigma on women who remain single throughout most of their young years and past child-bearing age, but these woman have the opportunities to travel and do whatever they want, and simply enjoy being single.

What is the appropriate age for a woman to say, "I do?"

Child brides: Most child brides in America elope simply because their parents will not allow them to get married. In some cases, they marry men who are from 5-10 years older than them. These young women often see marriage as a way out of what might be wrong at home. They may marry impulsively. Their husbands may end up being their father for a time. As they get older, some begin to realize all the fun they missed out on as a single person, and will yearn for it.

College brides: Thirty years ago, it was normal for a college woman to expect to form a lasting relationship with someone she met at college. Most of the men I got involved with in college were not marriage material. There was one guy who stood out from the rest. We married at the end of our junior year. We'd dated for only six months, but we'd been friends for three years and intimate friends for a year. I turned 21, and then two weeks later, I lost my individuality. From then on, I was Mrs. Ward.

Not only did we get married, we had our first son before our first anniversary. I ended up putting my education and career on hold for almost a decade. Whatever causes college students to marry has to be the thing that helps them stay together through the years. My husband and I lived in a married student apartment complex near campus with other married couples. We see many of those couples from time to time. Many of them are no longer married. My friends who got married the summer I did are still together.

Most parents and adults advised against us getting married until we'd graduated. We did without a lot of things at first. It's been 26 years. We've been with each other longer than with anyone else. Our experiences from youth until now - both good and bad - have continually solidified our relationship.

It is possible at this age for young women to still not be mature enough to settle down. Those who love the party scene and their network of friends will struggle if the husband is not a part of that network. Those who expect to live like they were still single should not marry until they're really ready for this type commitment.

Pre, mid and post career brides: Many women who have the paper (college diploma), the other paper (career and financial stability equivalent to many greenbacks in purse) seek to add just one more paper to their repertoire - a marriage license. At this stage, they are not marrying for financial stability or identity. By all appearances, they don't need a man. Many desire spousal companionship. It is wise for them to define what they want and look for these qualities. Many who have career success want to find love with a man on an equal footing. This is not always easy.

Once the professional woman has found the one, there are many more decisions to be made. Should they live in her town or his, or somewhere in between? Should they choose her house or his as the residence? Which furniture goes? Which furniture stays? Joint bank account(s), or remain separate? Should one or both of them give up or alter their careers?

Late life brides: These women have enjoyed the single life for many years. They are the career women who've singlehandledly achieved everything they own. If they get married at this stage, it is because they've found true love, because they've done good all by themselves. It never ceases to amaze me how these ladies will attend a high school or college reunion and meet Mr. Right. He was the boy who lived across the street that used to annoy you on the playground. Or the guy in the college physics class that you barely knew was there.

No matter what age a woman decides to give her hand to someone in marriage, she has to be emotionally and mentally prepared to share of themselves and be flexible. You and your partner have to do what it takes to make it work.