A Beautiful Soul and Disaster that Changed Lives

I have recently been up thinking about the last several months of my life, both good and bad moments and I am simply amazed at how some of our lives change drastically in years. Mine changed drastically in months. I learned a lot from the past several months and I have some advice to share with those of you who may end up being in the same situation I have been in.

For the past several months I have been involved in a beautiful young ladies life. Little did I know how involved she was in mine. This young lady was smart, beautiful, funny, exciting, adventurous, spontaneous and full of life, and boy did she help bring my life alive, but I could see just by looking into her eyes a pain no one else could see. It's true when they say eyes are windows into the soul because it is so true. I knew she needed help, but also could tell she didn't want help. My first thought was to just let it all go. Be her friend, but the more she spoke and the more she told the more I knew I couldn't sit back any longer. I had to take action and show her that there are ways out of sadness, but little did I know that getting involved would change my life and the way I viewed and helped people.

This beautiful young lady was a beautiful disaster. Life for her was she hated everything about life, and life sucked in general. The only thing that seemed to ease her pain was to keep it all to herself. The more I talked with her the more I learned and the more I wanted to listen. I wanted to understand her better and to see why she felt this way about life. I wanted to understand her so I could understand how to help her. She had everything a young lady could want. Yes, there were up and down moments in her life, but little things that popped up in her life that were bad made her feel like she failed once again, when really it wasn't her but everything, and everyone else going on around her. I wanted her to see that just because bad things happen around her doesn't mean it was because of her. I wanted her to know that bad things happening to good people all the time, but that doesn't mean it's their faults and they are a screw up. Unfortunately I never made it to teaching her that because of certain circumstances.

The circumstances were she had said to me on several occasions she didn't want to be apart of this world anymore. Whether she meant it, or was just saying it to blow of steam because she was mad at someone or a certain circumstance she still said it and I didn't know how to take it. So, doing what any right caring person would do I spoke up and said something about what she had told me. I also mentioned things from her past knowing she probably wasn't doing those things again, but out of concern thought it could be a possibility of her harming herself in that way and told someone figuring maybe they could help her instead of me, or maybe try to make sure she wasn't going to harm herself in anyway. There was talks about her possibly harming herself in certian way. I bet you can all figure out the typical stuff I am talking about, but unfortunately the information I had shared with someone who also cared a great deal about her got miss communicated and passed on the wrong way. I also began to learn myself that the whole time I spent with her we had some miss communication issues and not just with her but her family, which lead to her and I not speaking anymore. It's a shame, but my brother put it best you can't help someone who doesn't want help, and the hardest things to do are the most painful ones. I still felt very bad about the whole situation, but in that moment I was hoping I did the right thing by mentioning something to the one she loved hoping they would help her in the proper way, but it didn't matter who I told because she still didn't want help. She likes her life private and likes going through her pain in her own way. She was extremely mad not just because I tried helping her, but extremely mad because the communication between her, I, and the one she loves couldn't communicate properly and the message to her didn't come out right, which in the end made it look like I was lying about everything she once told me she had thought or was doing. It's not life I said she was doing it. I said there was a possiblity. In the end it ended up hurting both her and I because she thought I was out to destroy her life because I tried helping her.

I guess what I am trying to say is you can't help someone who doesn't want help unless you yourself know how to communicate properly with the individual, and unless the individual can communicate with you and listen herself, or himself. And, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. All in all I am happy I spoke up, but not happy things weren't communicated properly. I wish things would have been communicated properly because not only do I feel like I lost someone who brightened up my day, but I lost a chance at getting her to see that all the bad things in her life wasn't because of her.

Be careful how you help someone and who you help because they may not want it. They may not need the help you think they need. Communicated with the person who you believe needs help properly, and make sure you have a full understanding of it before trying to help them and before speaking up about their personal life. I feel really bad I didn't pay attention more or speak clearly. If I could undue what has been done I would in a heart beat. She taught me a valuable lesson only help those who want the help. She also taught me how to live and laugh! I hope someday she can forgive me and give me another chance to be apart of her life in a different way than it was before. I know if I ever had the chance now I would be her friend and learn how to communicate with her, and keep personal stuff personal stuff.

Anyways, I babbled enough! But I need to share this bit of advice with all of you who may be in this same situation someday. And if you ever are remember communication is key and you can only help those who want to be helped. Other wise don't bother! You will end up hurting in the end, and so will the other person!