A Believing Wife; an Unbelieving Husband

A very dear friend came to me this week for a shoulder and an ear. It seems after many years of marriage, the difficulties between her and her husband are becoming bigger than her faith.

She is one of the most powerful prayer warriors I know. She and I worshipped together for years before I lost my way and she moved on to another denomination.

We entered our first marriages around the same time and I have to say I have looked up to her for being able to stay strong in Christ while being married to an unbeliever. Such a marriage makes it much more difficult than when you are both Christians.

I know this first hand. While her marriage has survived the difficulties, mine ended about a decade after it started. I did get by for a long time on faith, love and blind trust. I stayed through many wrongs, but my first marriage finally ended in divorce after numerous episodes of adultery that took place over a long period of time. (It is difficult to continue a relationship when one partner admits to the behavior, professes to want to keep the marriage intact, yet refuses to stop.)

My friend has always been a woman of strong character and principle. She has lived according to the belief that if she lead by example and was a obedient wife and Christian, that God would transform his heart.

"Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives." 1 Peter 3:1

Her pastor brought this one up. Even if your husband is an unbeliever, you are to be submissive to him. That is the role of the wife, regardless of the husbands belief in God and the Bible.

I guess what she is struggling with is the question of how long it will take? Is there a time limit on God's ability to come into someone's life? How long is long enough?

I told her the scripture that came to my mind, 1 Corinthians 7: 12-16.

"To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?"

Basically, as a believer, she is not to leave as long as he is willing to live with her. If he leaves, then that is another story.

Sometimes the truth of the Bible isn't what we want to hear. Maybe it isn't the easiest way for us to go. Perhaps we could take a path that was filled with less turmoil. But clearly, the Bible says once married, the believer has to see the marriage through. Except for the reason stated in Matthew 5:32, "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."

I know scripture is subject to interpretation, which is why I spoke with my parish priest who counseled me before I sought a divorce and he told me that God didn't expect me to be bound by marriage to someone who was adulterous. That was not God's plan for marriage.　

Resources
Day 39 - Pornography - What's The Harm In Looking?

BCBSR - Some Basic Biblical Principles of Marriage, Divorce & Adultery

English Standard Version Bible Online - 1 Corinthians 7

Bella Online - Unequally Yoked - Married To An Unbeliever

Bible Gateway - Matthew 5:32