A Better Approach to Summer at Home with the Kids

Many parents agonize over the approaching days of summer, wondering how they will fill the hours and days with things to keep their children entertained. So they try to pack their summer full of activities and events to ward off the dreaded "I'm bored!" proclamation or eruptive episodes of sibling rivalry. It does not have to be this way. You can have a summer worth looking forward to by following these simple steps.

1. Be realistic. Your children have just finished a school year where the days were filled with routine, structure, predictability and continuous stimulation. They have now entered the "dog days" of summer where schedules are lax, time stands still and little sister is often the only playmate available. They are going to need a period of adjustment. Some children will adjust to this change with little or no difficultly. Others may find the change challenging. Prepare yourself for some upheaval for the first few days early in the summer as everyone adjusts to a new routine (yourself included).

2. Create a loose but somewhat predictable schedule. The schedule can be very simple and can include things like: lunch time, TV. time, ride bikes, swim at Sarah's etc. For children who miss the structure of a school day, a quick morning debriefing on the day's upcoming events can help alleviate any discomfort with ambiguity. Once your child adjusts to the ebb in flow of the summer clock, you will likely not need this aide.

3. Space out special events and vacations. At the beginning of the summer, using a month-at-a-glance calendar, sit down and fill in with the events that are definite for the summer (like family vacations, trips to grandmas, summer camps, etc.) If your schedule allows, try to space them out over the course of the summer so there is always something ahead. This will also help you avoid summer burn out. Sometimes too much of a good thing is just that: too much.

4. Don't over-plan. Allow time in your schedule for just hanging around. Many children have lost the art of entertaining themselves. They are in constant need of something or someone to provide that entertainment for them. Use this summer to recapture your child's sense of imagination, ingenuity and creativity. You may hear "I'm bored" along the way, but resist the temptation to fix it for them. Encourage them to create their own entertainment.

5. Include "choice days." Allow your children to earn free choice days. Identify them on the calendar with star stickers and use them to encourage good behavior. Be specific about your expectations of what behaviors will earn a choice day and what activities qualify. Some ideas include: a trip to the aquarium, a minor league baseball game, a visit at a local zoo, etc. Since you were likely going to do these activities anyway, why not establish them as a goal to work toward?

6. Schedule time for yourself each day. As the primary caregiver, you will need daily respite to keep up with the level of energy emitted and required by your children. Get a library card, take out a good novel and institute a "Mommy or Daddy quiet time" each day. By taking this time to renew and refresh every day, you and your children will find the rest of your days to be much more enjoyable.

Summer can drag on for a lifetime or can go by in the blink of an eye. How you approach and plan for your summer with your children will determine your experience. Try these tips and you may find this summer to be the best one yet.