A Bisexual Chick's Ponderings of a "Man Crush"

There are a lot of hokey terms that get thrown around. Sadly it's the really lame ones that end up sticking around like unwanted family members after a holiday meal. Much like the 'fist bump', random moronic text messages and gratuitous 'head nod' that you aim at acquaintances when you are too busy to verbally acknowledge them, terms like "uber", "metrosexual" and "manpons" really need to get pushed off the ingredient list of things added to the verbal cooking pot we call the English language.

What exactly is a "man crush"? As best I can decipher it, it is a guarded and non-invasive ode of admiration for a male. Well, you have to be a guy to have a man crush on someone so technically that leaves me out of the loop. So far I haven't heard anyone throw around the term "woman crush" and I think I know why.

1. It just sounds stupid. I think that if any woman ever used that term you should be able to slap her with a large, dead fish. It's my list, I make the rules.

2. Declaring your lust for another woman (in the presence of a man / men) is only going to train-wreck the rest of the evening. No matter what you say, all they will be thinking, hearing or imagining is you and the other female engaged in sexual scenarios that have been locked up in his filth trap mind for five years.

3. If a chick is onto another chick we don't complicate things, nor do we feel the need to chat each other up for two hours to soften the blow of events to come. Most guys, bisexual or otherwise, require a minimum of a two hour buffer zone in order to avoid the post-coital guilt trip.

I have more than a few guy friends that have said, at one time or another, that they have a man crush on Jason Statham. From a bisexual chick point of view he is attractive and there's no way I would kick him out of bed but I just don't understand how a man could compromise his "carved in stone" sexual principals for someone like Statham. Even if they say it in a joking manner, I'm still not convinced that their punnery isn't without some late night, deep-seeded, homoerotic reverie.

Some might say that I am jealous of the "man crush". That I am left out of the exclusive club that allows men to walk the fine line between being straight and being bisexual. That is were one of the greatest double standards ever comes into play. Two chicks together, good. Two guys together, bad. Meh, it all depends on who is doing the hooking up. I doubt you would want to walk in on your gym teacher giving private lessons to someone.

Whoever coined the term "man crush" must be loving life right about now. It is something that is a trending topic at Twitter, gets thrown around more frequently than Paris Hilton's undies and undoubtedly has allowed more than a few men the solace of admitting their covetousness of someone of the same sex while maintaining their personal boundary line of sexual ambiguity.