A Black Woman Speaks About Her Marriage to a White Man
One Woman's Experience with Interracial Marriage
Her values are like many people in her subset. Get an education. Work hard. Live clean and with-in the law. Vote. Be a good citizen. Sound familiar?
The only thing that separates her from many other women in her demographics is that when she fell in love it was with a man of another race. He's white. It's a union that puts her in connection with only 2.7% of the American population according to the most recent US Census Bureau statistics.
So, how did a black woman who follows all of the rules end up falling in love with a white man?
Mrs. Davis' answers to this question are simple and give an eagle's view on how life is different now for many interracial couples versus 50 years ago when this type of union was illegal in many states.
Modkins: How long have you and your husband been together?
Davis: Almost 15 years.
Modkins: Wow. That's a long time. How did you meet?
Davis: We met when we were in college. My husband was a basketball coach and I was working as an assistant.
Modkins: Was it love at first sight?
Davis: No. Not at all. We hung out for a while as friends until one day I caught him googling at me?
Modkins: Googling? What do you mean?
Davis: He was staring at me and I could tell that he liked me. It was the first time I ever thought about us being together.
Modkins: What happened next?
Davis: We started dating.
Modkins: Was he the first white man you'd ever dated?
Davis: Pretty much. I dated a bi-racial man in the past, but not anyone who was white. It was the same for him. I was the first black woman he'd ever dated too.
Modkins: Was it different dating a white man versus a black man?
Davis: I hate to say so, but "yes."
Modkins: What's the difference?
Davis: I felt he was more loving, kind and respectful. It could have been the black men I was dating, but I don't know.
Modkins: How did your family feel about you two being together?
Davis: They have both been very accepting of it.
Modkins: No one ever voiced any concerns or rejection of it? What about when you got married?
Davis: No. Our family has always been very supportive. No one rejected our relationship and everyone came to the wedding.
Modkins: What about the public? Do people ever stare or make comments?
Davis: Well. (Pause) Sometimes people feel the need to make comments to us. Most of them are positive. They make a point to tell us that we have a nice family or beautiful children.
Modkins: Has anyone ever been negative?
Davis: The strangest comments I get are from co-workers.
Modkins: Where do you work?
Davis: Walmart. I am a supervisor.
Modkins: What do your co-workers say?
Davis: Co-workers who don't know that I'm married to a white man usually express their surprise about it. It's a move they never guessed I'd make. Also, co-workers who also are dating someone of another (black) race feel the need to tell me about it.
Modkins: Is your marriage to a white man something you publicize to others?
Davis: No. It's no big deal to me. I don't think of my husband as a white man. I just think of him as my husband.
Modkins: Usually, people who are against interracial relationships say it's because of the children. They are worried about what happens to bi-racial children in society and psychologically. Was this ever a concern of yours?
Davis: It was a thought. Not a huge concern.
Modkins: Have you ever spoken to your children about it?
Davis: We've played it by ear. Right now, we feel they're just too young to be aware of it and it doesn't seem to be an issue.
Modkins: Do any of your children ever ask you a question about race?
Davis: Only once. One of our sons made a comment about us being of different races. He noticed that my husband was white and spoke about the rest of the (immediate) family being black.
Modkins: How did you deal with it?
Davis: We didn't make a big deal about it. It was just an observation.
Modkins: If it ever becomes an issue in the future, do you and your husband know what you're going to say to your children?
Davis: Right now. No. We'll just deal with it as it comes.
Modkins: What do you want the world to know about people who fall in love with another person of a different race?
Davis: Only that race really doesn't matter. As long as you're in love that's the most important thing. Everything else is a none issue.
Modkins. So love is the reason why you fell in love with your husband?
Davis: Yes. I love him very much and that's the key to our successful marriage.
Published by Stephanie Modkins
Stephanie M. is a freelance writer who lives in the northwest. Her main goal is to write in a way that entertains, educates or uplifts readers. View profile
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24 Comments
Post a CommentI am of biracial decent; my father being Nigerian and my mother Caucasian. I can honestly say that I am proud to be mixed even having endured the racism that comes along with it. While I am not racist at all, I typically lean towards being attracted to Caucasian men due to my past experience.
Well I genuinely love to see interracial couples because it means that we are freeing ourselves even though the world tries to keep us in bondage. The greatest freedom starts in the mind of a person and i think that's so wonderful. We really can't tell our hearts who to love, it just happens and when it does we ought to express it. For many live and have died without ever experiencing true love.
wow!!its great to know there are black men out there who like black women.Here in Africa I hardly see such to the point that I am searching for the right place to relocate or maybe im just looking in the wrong places..Well,I should assure you that you all will find the woman who will make you happy one day,when its actually your time.And most importantly I would liketo thank you for recognising black womens virtues.I highly appreciate that.
This is the rest of my post that was cut off because it was evidently too long:
i've never had an orgasm but, LOL ...in sex with this White man I had an organism and I was even screaming for the first time in my life, usually I don't even have a moan. His penis size was average, and no oral sex, which I don't do anyway, also he was not a super dude performer, so none of the above was the reason
I, noticed, during coitus, that the skin of his penis had a smooth almost velvety feel, in contrast to the penis of Black men. I also theoretically wonder if the abundance of melanin in my body and vagina in contrast to his White body/penis of no melanin; possibly ignites a powerful exciting chemistry during coitus. PERHAPS, RACE DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE, maybe White men turn me on, LOL
Anyway, I enjoyed our few dates; dining out, walks in the park.. but, we did not evolve into a relationship because, I think we both still carry a little "closet prejudice" an
i love the soul of the black woman, just love it. enough said. saw a black woman today, admired her soul. wish it were mine.
Im the same way Ryan,
I see that in black woman a more REAL GENUINE PERSONALITY,and alot more caring way about thing's and WAYYYYY more personable,im a white man 50 not taken and wondering about my social life with all these caucasian woman around,
I know of this town in kansas west of me that has some nice lady's there but i never get over there much, and these blind older conservative arrogant white people around here that mostly dont know what thier talking about most of the time,
these ignorant white people making comments about junk they know nothing about and are total hippocrites,
Ive talked to black ones on you tube and they are soooo sweet to me and so unabashed in thier meeting, and soo alluring as thier not putting on airs,
I look for black woman on TV sometimes as i know they dont have near the spot's or the inviting to get spot's on TV that are good and wholesome,
im soooooo tired of the arrogance and racist atitude in this part of the country,
I
all Ive ever been with is blind ignorant white woman that cant keep thier mouth's shut, and making comment's out of ignorance, or coying what some older person said and thinking everything is a joke,ha ha ha ha ha all the darn time im freaking tired of it,
judge others out of someone else's comment and nnot knowing about what thier talking about anyway,
I think it'd feel good to love a caring black woman thats personable and down to earth,
Im tired of the judging white woman that makes comments out of ignorance,
action's speak louder than word's,
Hi I am a 27 year old single male looking for that missing half of myself and looking for a familiar situation for those who agree with me and are ready for marriage. I exercise and good food I enjoy traveling very much like I expect your future partner and I have mutual understanding. If your condition does correspond with me please I can add to your friends list.(saeed.modares@yahoo.com)
Hi, I am Indian and yes i am also technically a black guy and i married the love of my life a beautifull caribbean Black girl.
So you may think its not a big deal me a indian black/brown guy marrying a black girl, but guess what i am ashamed to say this, sadly Indians are more racist than caucasians. When Racist i mean they are outright openly racist.
After marrying my wife, i had to break of ties with all my relatives including my mother and father because they consider my wife to be disgusting, and i don't allow any one to disrespect my wife.
Now i am almost an orphan now, but i am still happy being with my wife who loves me and adores me.
I hate to say it, Racism has no boundaries.
something about a black woman is totally understanding and personable to me, I like their personality, and I like they way they carry themselves, and they dont play games either,
sexy, alluring, compassionate, and genuine,
Im not looking at skin color, I like what they are in thier heart,
im tired ofthe thing that alot thing white for white and black for black that stupid and selfish,