A Blissful Honeymoon

A wedding is one of the more important events in the lives of most people. However, it can also be the most stress-filled, anxiety-laden, panic-stricken, and exhaustive event that they would ever undertake.

Aside from the tedious wedding preparations and the emotional roller coaster of the wedding day itself, there are the post-wedding parties, settling of accounts, and send-offs for relatives and other important guests to attend to. Hence, a honeymoon get-away is really necessary for the couple after their wedding.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines "honeymoon" as the "first month after marriage, when there is nothing but tenderness and pleasure; originally having no reference to the period of a month, but comparing the mutual affection of newly-married persons to the changing moon which is no sooner full than it begins to wane; now, usually, the holiday spent together by a newly-married couple, before settling down at home." The word dates back to the 16th century, with its etymology attributed to various events. The more colorful explanation seems to come from an ancient Babylonian practice which dictates that the bride's father must supply his son-in-law with all the mead (a beer made with honey) he could drink, to assure virility and fertility. Since they were using a lunar calendar, the period was referred to as the honey month. To this day, the term has not lost its connotation with seclusion and sexual intimacy.

Indeed, the honeymoon is that special quiet time that a couple spends together after the wedding rush fades. It doesn't have to be really fancy and the couple doesn't have to travel far, but it has to be intimate and easy, where the couple can just relax, enjoy each other's company, and indulge in the pleasures of intimacy without the pressures and interruptions of work, family, or even well-meaning friends.

A honeymoon is not merely a vacation-it has other, deeper associations for the couple. The following informal guide may come in handy for those who are planning their getaway. These tips may be general, but may spell the difference between a run-of-the-mill trip and a fruitful, pleasurable, and satisfying experience.

Sometimes the hows and wheres are out of your hands, like when it is a wedding gift from some rich relative or godparent. But if you had the freedom and leeway to do it your own way, then by all means plan it right.

An Outing for Two
A honeymoon is an outing for the couple-presumably their first endeavor together as newlyweds. For this reason, the places that you are to visit and the activities that you are to do should interest both of you. The purpose of the trip will be forfeited if only one of you comes home flushed with excitement while the other is bored to death.

It is worthwhile to plan for your honeymoon before the wedding. Even if you don't finalize the little details, at least agree on where you both want to go, what you both want to do, for how long, and how much you both want to spend on it. You wouldn't want it to be a source of disagreement early on in your marriage. A honeymoon should bind you, not tear you apart.

Plan Ahead
Find your suitable destination and then set a budget for your honeymoon trip, including shopping expenses. But you will have to remember that you will be incurring a lot of expenses before and during the wedding itself. If you still have enough extra cash after the wedding, by all means treat yourselves to that once-in-a-lifetime trip that you would only want to spend with your special half.

But if there are budgetary constraints, plan a reasonable outing. It is not logical to take a cruise on a luxury liner or an inter-continental tour if you end up broke afterwards. Your honeymoon could be a weekend off at a nearby resort or even just an overnight stay at a local hotel where you can rest and be together in an intimate setting. It could also be as simple as pampering yourselves with all the works at a day spa.

Decide on the length of your trip. It can be as short as a day or as long as a month or two, provided you can afford it and you can get away from your respective professions that long. The important thing is, you are both comfortable with your decision.

When you're in another country, there is a tendency to splurge in shopping, especially if the credit card is handy. Come to think of it, this is also a not uncommon occurrence even when you go to places within the country. The idea and feeling of being on vacation seems to trigger the penchant to spend. Therefore discuss your possible expenses before leaving and set a limit. I think that talking about your honeymoon expenses would not really be bummer as you would want your enjoyment during your honeymoon to last into your marriage, not end after you have to settle your bills.

One Goal
There is only one goal to the honeymoon-to bind the couple in the intimacy of marriage in order to prepare them for their life afterwards. And with this I only have one picture of a successful marriage in my mind-roast chicken. Before the chicken is cooked under tremendous heat, it is marinated in special, savory sauces for several hours to let the flavors seep into the thick meat. Despite the high temperature, the chicken remains flavorful, aromatic, and deliciously colored.

I think that the same is true in marriage. The honeymoon stage is like the marinade. It flavors the early part of the union, with the pleasurable parts pervading every aspect of the couple's soul. This state of well-being makes them stronger and helps prepare them for any stress or pressure that they may face in their future together. And despite all the heat that they may endure, they still come out smelling fresh and looking flavorful, thanks to the special bond that linked them during their honeymoon.

If you come to a point where you have different viewpoints or choices on a single matter, you are left with only one thing-to compromise. Just make sure that the compromise agreement is indeed an agreement. There's no point fighting over such things on your honeymoon, or feeling bad when one gives in to the other.

Intimacy
For most, the main idea of a honeymoon is intimacy. It need not be limited to the sexual aspect, it could also be spiritual. It pays to have a singular faith and to have moments where your spirits alone are strengthened. It is wise to have prayer times early in the morning and before retiring. Moments of meditation and discussion about yourselves, about different issues, and about the future will also unite you. It is easier to discuss at these times when the mood is light.

Nothing Too Strenuous
The honeymoon period is supposed to be a rewarding break from the stresses of the wedding. It is also the period of ease before going back to work, to managing your business, or whatever important matter that awaits. In short, it is dreamland before going back to reality.

Unless the two of you really dig extreme sports and other thrilling adventures, limit your activities to gentler pursuits that will bring both pleasure and relaxation. Do things that are not too strenuous for both of you to handle. The least you would want to bring home are bruised muscles, burned skin, dislocated joints, or a broken bone or two.

Don't Waste the Opportunity
However for a lot of couples, it is easy to neglect the honeymoon period for a number of reasons. My husband and I didn't allow work or anything else to deprive us of some quiet time together.

We didn't immediately leave for our honeymoon right after the wedding. There were different events that transpired after the big day, so instead of flying off to some secluded island, we decided to settle first in what was to become our new home.

But we didn't let the delay dampen our honeymoon mood either. A month later, we went on a two-week jaunt to three nearby cities. We visited relatives, stayed in hotels, went swimming at different resorts, got revived with Jacuzzi dips, watched National Geographic while relaxing on comfortable hotel beds, relaxed in massage chairs, and stuffed ourselves during endless buffets. We indulged in things that excited us the most as a couple! It was a period that cemented our marriage because we pampered ourselves and endeavored to do only the things that the two of us are interested in. We also took a lot of pictures. Even the travel time delays didn't bother us because we were together.

Of course, we didn't neglect our spiritual side. We spent time reflecting and meditating to feed our spirits. We also set aside time to pray for ourselves as we start our married life and for the family that we hope to have. It was a holistic outing!

My husband and I really enjoyed those two beautiful weeks together. When we went back to our hometown, we were refreshed, energized, and ready to take on what married life has in store. Our faces glowed from the blissful time that we shared together.

Honeymoon is unlike any other vacation time. When missed, it cannot be brought back, because a couple can only become "newlyweds" once. When the couple evolves into a family, outings become family adventures. Even if the parents decide on a couple's night out, their discussions often spill out to include children. The honeymoon stage is only the time after marriage that a couple undergoes a whole lot of experiences-including privacy, excitement, discovery, union, and other thrills.

I strongly recommend that every newlywed should undergo a honeymoon trip. It doesn't have to be expensive and taken too far away. Any kind of break before facing the married world could do wonders to the couple's well-being. Sure you can take a vacation later, but a honeymoon is one of the vital ingredients that strengthen the foundations of marriage.

Of course a beautiful marriage doesn't only involve a wonderful, romantic honeymoon. It would take a lot of effort for the two parties involved to make it work. However, it pays to start it easy and light, with the couple refreshed physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually from taking a delightful journey together.