A Bomber's Eye

It has to be done. It is August 6, 1945 and the plane is rattling around me. I keep telling myself what I am doing is right. I am flying towards Hiroshima to drop the atomic bomb I'm carrying. I know it has to be done to stop the ongoing conflict, but it is still hard. I keep thinking of all the people living in the city. There are children and grandparents who have done nothing wrong. It still has to be done, I repeat to myself. I see the city in the distance. As I draw near I prepare to hit the button. I place my thumb on it and press down. As soon as I hear the tone of a successful release I immediately pull up and try to fly as far as possible.

I see the small bomb slowly fall through the air. It looks so harmless and begins to fade away. After the bomb disappears from my sight, it erupts in light and smoke. I can barely see. I feel like I had been staring at the sun for hours. As my sight slowly returns, I see the city out of the corner of my eye. The buildings disintegrate in an instant. Cars just disappear into dust and debris. I tell myself I dropped the bomb, so America could continue to be a world power and example to everyone. I close my eyes and fly straight out into the sky.

As I close my eyes, all I hear is the plane around me roaring like a caged lion. In my head, though, I hear screams and cries for help. I hear Americans cheering in approval and admiration at a newfound power. I hear a city being demolished and destroyed by me. Even though it is only in my head it sounded as real as possible. It made me proud and brought me to tears of sadness at the same time.

I feel suddenly numb and think I am dreaming. There is no way I just dropped the world's most advanced weapon on a city of people I don't know, I thought. I realize some people will never forgive me, but it had to be done. They chose their fate; I just had to follow through. I am merely a soldier; I did not make the decision. I feel like I did the right thing, even though many lost their lives.

This bombing will keep me up at night for years to come. I know there will not be one day that goes by when this does not come to my mind. Even though I know I did the right thing, it was and still is very difficult to accept. My mind is racing with thoughts of what I had just done. The whole city was gone, all their lives. When I begin to break down, I know I will recover, but the tears still roll down my cheeks. This was the hardest thing I had ever done or ever will do. It had to be done.