A Child of Mental Illness

How many times have you heard the saying "We can't pick and choose our parent's". Just think of how many people in the world would do just that. Trade in the bad or the old, and get the perfect parents of your own design, and your own imagination of what you want your parent to be like. Some would make the choices for selfish reasons, reasons of imagination, even for deceit. A young immature teen may not make such a good choice in the make up of their parent verses a mature adult about 30 years old and married with children. There are many types of parents and we cannot control who they are mentally nor physically. There are strict parents, supportive parents, homosexual parents, disconnected parents, abusive parents, physically challenged parents, loving parents, and there are parents that are Mentally Ill.

A child being raised by a parent who has a diagnosed Mental Illness has to be an emotional life's journey; especially if there has been no counseling and no education on how to cope with a Mentally Challenged parent. What to expect and what warning signs to look out for. It takes a lot of dedicated time in raising a healthy happy child into a full grown adult. Some parents who have no issues of Mental Illness have to take parenting classes to enhance their parental skills. My Mother was a child of Mental Illness my Grandmother, "my mom's mother" was raped at 13 years old by a older man in which she became pregnant with my mother. My grandmother suffered traumatically and with no help from the law or counseling. She had my mother at 14yrs old. My mother at a very early age started being abused by my grandmother

Momma said that grandma was working as a Cross Guard for the local school and when my mom would walk across the street grandma would beat her all the way across the street going to school and coming home. Grandma was a single parent, financially well and she'd have these terrible men that totally took advantage of her, beat her and continually raped her daughter Mary Lofton my mother. It happened to my mother for years and she was raped by different men and continually beaten by her Mentally Ill mother. When she would tell my grandma about the rapes and sexual attempts, mama would get beat more. Mama said, "one day after being raped she ran out the door and went to a neighbor's house and waited for her mom to come home". When the neighbor told my grandma what mom had told her? She said, "Mary was lying" and when they got into the house grandma started beating her, telling her that she was a liar. When my mom was a sophomore at Monrovia High Grandma had to be committed. She spent the next 12 + yrs at Patton State Mental Institution and 11 yrs spent behind the walls without ever going outside, that was before I was born. My Dad taped that moment on a Super 8 Movie Camera. I do have a copy of it and it capture's a look of an innocent lady that suffered many years of a neglected illness. After her release from Patton, Grandma lived with us and had to repeatedly be picked up by the Pet Team and be committed in a psychiatric hospital where she would stay for a few months and then she would come home. I have a Nephew & Niece who's mother diagnosis was Schizophrenia and to this very day they both have issues of their mother's Mental Break Downs that she suffered from, her having to be hospitalized over and over again, all of their lives.

I seen a family in the grocery store, it was a mom with a couple kids. I could since that she suffered some type of Mental Illness; and I could very well tell that the items in her basket were chosen by her kids. It was nothing but Junk Foods, which is not a healthy diet. I could clearly see that she was in need of parental education.

Now don't get me wrong by all means I am not saying that the mentally ill is not capable of being a good parent or a loving parent. My concerns are what happens when these melt downs occur? The Mentally ill parent would basically have to commit to a life long journey of having committed help in decision making, health & wellness decisions, educational advice, financially capabilities, the list go's long and broad. Now when it comes down to allowing someone with such an illness to raise a child/children without a support team, the child/children may suffer emotional trauma, and don't forget history can repeat itself.

My mother grew into a fine Lady, Mother of seven, Wife and Friend with no issues of Mental or Emotional Illnesses. She was a devout Christian since the early age of 14 years old and was a professional (Psychiatric Technician) working 33 years for the State of California. Momma was awarded twice for Employee of the Year; she studied Opera and was a beautiful soloist, singing at churches all over Southern California. She was well known for the hugs that she gave; she understood and practiced compassion, when she prayed for those with sicknesses they were healed with total recovery. If Momma prayed for you, you can very well expect a miracle healing. Momma passed away in November 2004, and at that moment I really knew without a doubt that she must have been an angel. She endured the pains of being a Child of Mental Illness, and even thou she suffered in her youth; at the end of her time on earth she wanted her Mommy.

You can look at a bad situation and find the good. I have looked at this from the start and I say, "If my Grandma had not been raped my mom would have not been born and neither would I".