A Child's Health and Well-Being is Always Important

Social skills are an essential part of every child's emotional health and well-being. Without proper social skills, a child can be left out of many social situations both in and out of school, making life a very lonely and unhappy existence. Home is a good place to start learning the proper social skills needed to co-exist in day to day living, but school is not only for reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic, it is also the perfect place for many children to learn the ins and outs of social interaction with peers and peer groups. With advancement of socio-emotional skills, children are then allowed to achieve greater success, both academically and socially with peers.

Many of these skills allow for positive development through understanding and comprehension in a wide variety of social settings. Some essential social skills are, but not limited to: sharing (both time and materials), following directions, being on time, using self control, resolving conflicts, accepting consequences for actions, showing respect and using manners, showing empathy, phrasing remarks positively without criticism, expressing feelings openly, showing good sportsmanship, using appropriate language, setting reasonable goals, resolving conflicts in a positive manner as well as maintaining friendships. There are hundreds of different social skills that can be learned, and used, for different situations and reasons, but the basic skills will always remain to be just that, the basic skills. Although, it is a rare day to find someone, anyone, that possesses all of the essential social skills. Social skills are necessary for a healthy school environment and to achieve a well-balanced education regardless of age or grade.

One skill that is important for all children to learn is sharing. Sharing occurs when children get along with others and take turns. Whether sharing takes place in the classroom or on the playground, on the bus or in the cafeteria, sharing is an important tool in the education and growth of any child whether that child is in kindergarten or college. Kindergarteners should be taught that taking turns with the swings and monopolizing them not only shows sharing, but respect for others. Sharing is an important asset to life; through this skill cooperation and understanding can be fostered and nurtured developing into a strong sense of etiquette and manners. Remembering that others are waiting to enjoy the swings, mold the play-doh or the put together the puzzle, gives the child the opportunity to exhibit their use and comprehension of manners towards others and themselves. Allowing the child to make theses decisions, allowing the child to make a choice, will allow the child to develop that sense of respect in others and in self.

Complying with directives, or rather following directions, either complicated or basic, in the appropriate step-by-step manner as instructed is essential to the completion of a task correctly. The skill of learning to follow directions should begin at a young age, preferably before beginning school, but for some, it will begin as early as kindergarten. Following directions could be as simple as putting away the games or as complex as learning the proper procedures for a school fire drill. At the most, following directions is encouraged in kindergarten and continually encouraged throughout the student's educational career. To encourage the student to follow directions, the teacher can make sure that they are clear and concise in the directions that they give either written, verbal or both to ensure a total understanding of the task at hand.

To make sure that the student can learn properly, the student must learn to be punctual and arrive to school at the correct time. Arriving at the correct time can ensure that the student is there when the teacher begins instructions for the day's tasks. Coming to class late could leave directions unclear, especially if the student arrives after the discussion is complete. Getting a good night's sleep can help with the difficult task of waking up on time. If a person can wake on time, they will have enough time to clean and dress, as well as have a good breakfast to arrive to school on time, possibly early. Beginning this ritual as a kindergarten student can begin a valuable routine that will benefit throughout school, as well as life as an adult. It can also show that the child has respect for the school and teacher and can understand the importance of learning time management.

Learning self-control can be a difficult skill to master, but it can be essential to a peaceful co-existence throughout life. The purpose of self-control is to make sure that the child understands that they have control over their own actions. The first step is to teach right from wrong and that there are good and bad ways to express feelings and emotions. When teaching self-control, there is no perfect age, grade or way to begin since each day can bring new challenges to overcome; each of these challenges may need different resolutions. As a student excels through school, all that a teacher can honestly do is to help with each new situation as it arises; discuss the problem, breathe to relax, think about possible outcomes (both good and bad), reflect on past occurrences and choose the best route to a resolution. Each age, each grade level, needs to take different approaches to instill methods and manners of self-control; just as different situations require different actions. Learning self-control at an early age will help the child to feel better about the decisions that they make. In elementary school, not all students have mastered the art of diplomacy and therefore many opportunities for self-control can arise quickly. Reviewing these steps when the situation arises can infest within the students for later reflection.

Moving right along with learning self-control is learning to solve conflicts with peaceful and agreeable resolutions. Solving conflicts is a method that allows children to look at a problem in a way that allows for them to use steps that will help them understand the problem and create a resolution that will establish respect and confidence in themselves. As important as age and grade levels may be in resolving conflicts, the largest factor is maturity. Finding an appropriate manner in resolving conflicts would be ideal, but is not always possible. Once again, going back to the basics is a good idea and a good place to start. Reviewing the same steps to maintain self-control can assist in resolving conflicts peacefully. Using the steps to find the results of proper conflict resolution can increase behavior management within the classroom, as well as in society. Rather than using physical violence towards one another or intervention by an administrator, it is better that the students use their own capabilities of problem solving to come to an agreeable end to the problem.

With self-control and problem-solving comes the acceptance of the consequences for one's actions as well. Learning to accept the responsibility of the results of one's actions is a vital part of life. Learning to respond in a respectful and contrary manner is also important. Rather than physical punishment, sometimes just experiencing the natural outcomes of their decisions and actions is punishment enough to learn that the choices made were not the right ones. Before beginning school or as early as Kindergarten, children should be taught that all actions will have reactions; some good and some bad. The primary purpose of learning to accept responsibility is to learn to make decisions and to be responsible for those decisions. A kindergarten student may notice that another student was rewarded for completing the assignment by a choice from the treasure box; while another student had to miss free activity time because they chose not to complete assignment. This can show the cause and effect relationship for the choices of actions by the different students.

Through the use of appropriate language, a student could learn the meaning of the old adage, "You gain more with honey than with vinegar." If the student can learn to speak with respect towards others, not just adults, but peers as well, social advancement is possible. Peers would be more willing to include the student in group, social and enrichment activities than if the student used inappropriate language around or about others. Phrasing thoughts positively and without criticism can greatly increase the student's mental appearance to others. Even the simple words of "please" and "thank you" can make a student more appealing to those around them. The simple task of manners and their proper should begin at home and nurtured in each and every grade level.

The ability to use any of these other social skills can lead to the important task of maintaining good friendships with others and in turn showing good sportsmanship in the appropriate events. Whether it is a small group activity or a large school wide field day event, showing encouragement to others, as well as friends, can show that the student is able to handle disappointment, or victory, with the same dignity and respect that they would appreciate themselves. A characteristic of a good friend and a good sport is empathy towards those around you that feel less fortunate of their circumstances. It can be a situation that a person is upset about a poor grade or they lost the relay event, either way showing that compassion to another, rather than ridicule or making fun of them, can show a strong sense of self and character.

These simple social skills are important all throughout life. Once again using an old adage, "Everything you needed to learn, you learned in kindergarten" seems to hold true. Starting to learn these skills at the earliest possible age begins a lifetime of social acceptance and growth. Parents should be the primary teachers for these skills, but as a child enters school, the responsibility for their social, educational and emotional growth becomes shared with the teachers that they interact with over the years. Thus, manifesting a new world of knowledge and hope for the future.

References:

Elias, M. J. Academic and Social-Emotional Learning. 2003. Retrieved May 25, 2007 from

http://www.ibe.unesco.org

Lavoie, R. D. The Teacher's Role in Developing Social Skills. Retrieved may 25, 2007 from

http://www.ricklavoie.com/teacherart.html

McClelland, D. E. and Katz, L. G. Assessing Young Children's Social Competence. Eric Digest

#ED450953. Retrieved May 15, 2007 from http://www.eric.ed.gov