A Christian Woman's Guide to Modesty

"I just don't think I should dress in a way that brings attention on myself" said Stacy, as she looked down on her plain jumper and adjusted her head covering.

"Look at that woman over there; she's not leaving much to the imagination. How can guys help but look at her?" she continued.

Stacy had a point. As Christian women, it is important to dress in such a way that the focus is not on self, and with modesty and propriety so that men aren't unnecessarily tempted. But without even realizing it, Stacy's statements revealed a prideful, self-focused heart. To some degree, she was guilty of the very things she claimed to shun.

It's not wrong for a woman to dress in modest, plain apparel if that is what her personal convictions and particular church tradition demands. But plain dress is not always a sign of a pure heart.

Unless a woman's personal convictions dictate otherwise, it's okay for women to wear modest clothing that is also attractive and fashionable. Admittedly, today that can be a challenge. It's not always easy to find fashionable clothing that is also modest. If you don't believe me, try taking a teenage girl to the mall! It can be a frustrating experience, but with persistence, and after rejecting heaps of clothing that shows too much skin, my teenaged daughter and I often come home with shopping bags full of clothing she loves, and of which my husband and I approve.

The bottom line is that it's important to honor God in how we as women dress. For some, that may mean wearing plain clothing, and for others, it may mean wearing lots of color and accessories. It's good to remember that the most important piece of "clothing" a woman can wear is a heart that seeks to honor God.

A Christian Woman's Guide to Modesty: Don't Cause Your Brother to Stumble

It's no secret that men look at women. It's also no secret that women at times dress in such a way that almost demands the lustful attention of the men around them.

A woman might say, "If a guy has an issue with lust, that's his problem!" And in a sense, she is right; it is his problem, and one he is responsible to deal with in a God-honoring way. But as women, we also have a responsibility to honor both God and the men we come in contact with, in the way we dress.

Romans 14:13 and 21 exhort us not to do anything that would cause our brother to stumble. So even though the way a man deals with lust is his problem, as women, we also have a problem if we dress and behave in a manner intended to stir up desires we cannot rightly satisfy.

A Christian Woman's Guide to Modesty: Avoid Making the Wrong Impression

"What a jerk! I can't believe he only wanted one thing from me, and now that he's had it, he's no longer interested."

Have you ever spoken, or thought such words? Perhaps you haven't, but I can guarantee you that many women around you have echoed that sentiment.

Women are at times shocked and dismayed to find themselves used and abused by men. Although it is never appropriate for men to misuse women, some of the responsibility for this common occurrence falls on the shoulders of women.

Sadly, many women advertise the wrong thing. They emphasize their sensuality in an attempt to get the attention of men. And they get it alright! But by overemphasizing their bodies, they attract men who are interested in little more than the pleasure of the moment.

In contrast, a woman who focuses more on grooming her heart, and being godly and full of Christ's character may not initially turn a lot of heads. But she'll eventually turn the head of the right kind of man, a man who not only loves and honors God, but desires a woman of character and substance as well.

A Christian Woman's Guide to Modesty: Avoid the Comparison Trap

At times a woman's desire to dress in such a way that it draws attention is evidence of a desire for affirmation and approval. Women are often concerned with how they compare with other women, and if they manage to turn heads, they may feel better about themselves. Women's perceived value often rests on their level of attractiveness compared to the women around them.

When a woman sees a woman who is thin and pretty, she may feel inferior and unattractive. The flip side is also true; when a woman see's another woman who is heavier than she is or who has some unattractive feature, she may feel smugly superior.

It's important to remember that a woman's value is not based on the size of her clothing or the perfection of her body. In God's sight, she is neither more nor less valued than other woman around her, regardless of what she looks like.

Thankfully, God's love goes much deeper than the size and style of our clothing. He looks beyond the surface level of our outward appearance, to the deepest things within our hearts. He created us, with all of our flaws, to be women of beauty in His sight.