A Closer Look at BDSM Collars and What They Really Mean Anymore

When I first started out a little over 15 Years ago, the word Collar made slaves salivate and the dominance straighten up a little more. A Collar was a sign of achievement of something very special on both parts. It was in essential the equivalent of a Wedding Ring. You didn't just give it to the first person coming along, but it was something that was given after a long and arduous time of courtship, getting to know and the eventual training. To receive the collar of a dominant was something a slave would dream about in his or her bed or the floor by the bed of that specific dominant.
No mountain would have been to high too contemplate nor any Ocean too far to cross to achieve this coveted sign of slavery. Sadly however, those times are long gone. As Collars are more and more made with Velcro Snaps, Cyber Glue and are more often then not a "cute" or "kinky" fashion accessory.

When you go out and about these days you see little teenagers that aren't even 17 Years of age running around with Collars they have purchased at the closest fashion accessory store or Spencers, Hot Topics or other supposedly Gothic Store. They can even purchase such an item at clothing stores like Fashion Bug as my daughter informs me. They snap the Collar into place and think they are cool, hip and something special.

Go to the right place at the wrong time and you will see one teenager leading another around on a leash in public. No problem? Wrong! Those teens don't even have a clue what they are doing. Who we don't see in public with Collars proudly presented around their necks or leashes hooked into the D-Rings of said Collars are the actual slaves and Masters/Mistresses proudly holding the end of that Leash. Why you may rightfully ask? Because we may enrage, upset, disgust or otherwise disturb the Vanilla Community! Anyone want to explain this one to me, because I am at this point clueless.

Collars come in many forms and sadly only a few are worn with honor anymore. I have personally gone through 3 Versions of the Collar while I became Property. I am now permanently collared even if I can not wear it around my Neck in the form of my Ownership Mark on the back of my right Shoulder blade.

Let me address a few of the Collars you may encounter in the BDSM Realm.

A Collar of Consideration or Protection:

This Collar is a very temporary Collar that was worn by a slave during a consideration period and was done very seldom and only by those with very specific "training" styles. You may have seen a Collar of Protection worn by a slave during a Play Party aligning them with the Dominant that had granted the Protection. This will usually be a very simple collar with no lock or key. No D-Ring or one that is very small. It is usually placed upon the Neck of the submissive at the Party in full view and taken off after. Making it very clear that this is only for protection purposes. During this time however, the slave will act as if this dominant is the rightful Master or Mistress and refer to them in all areas of service. This "under protection" slave may not be played with, without the permission and in most cases presence of the Dominant in charge for that time period. However, the slave retains to right to request a playtime with a specific person or reject it respectfully. Kind of like Babysitting I guess in a Vanilla World.

A Training Collar.

This was one of my first Collars received by my Owner. During this time period I am a mere submissive. I am belonging to this person, am under training for a specific time frame or for duration. At this point of the journey, I am considered the submissive of the dominant, but no contract has been set up as of yet. You could consider this the engagement time. Your courtship is over and your steady training has begun. Now actions carry consequences and more often or not this is the making or breaking period for many slaves and Dominants. This period of Time can vary from couple to couple. It used to be a minimum of 2 Years, but each hold their own stock on it. If after this time, the submissive has proven to be the right one and the Master or Mistress also, again yes it goes from both ends, than you may find yourself at an official Collaring Ceremony.

The Slave Collar.

Joy of joys and privilege of privileges. You are now the honored slave of your dominant and are fully belonging to him or her. At this point a contract may be drawn up, not unlike a marriage license with both making their rights and responsibilities known to all in attendant. This is one of the most wonderful moments in a slave's life. It is also a very special moment in the Life of a Dominant. You now have achieved something most can only dream about. Usually this collar is presented in a 24/7 Lifestyle setting and the Slave if lucky is present in the household of the Master or Mistress. This Collar took in our M/s Relationship almost 5 Years to achieve. With several setbacks and back steps when my Training wasn't going well. At this point you may see the addition of a lock and key. Perhaps even a tag that may be attached to the D-Ring. Again this is individual to the specific M/s Relationships.

Most of the Time this is where it stops and most are more then content at this point. What more would you ask for. In some extreme cases like my-self being the slave wasn't enough. I yearned to be owned, fully and completely. I wanted to be the absolute property of my Master. I wanted to give the gift of my complete life and soul to him.

For me this came in the form of my Ownership Mark and in some cases it would be an Ownership Collar.

At this point the Contract is resigned, redone and finalized. You are now no longer your own person, but the property of another human being. Evenso, in legal views he can not make me do anything or do anything I don't want to me, in the eyes of the property those laws do not apply. For this reason it is extremely important that you do know who you are willing to go this far with and it shouldn't ever been done without your fullest understanding of this deed. This is not only the greatest of honors for a slave but for the Master or Mistress as well. You have noticed that the Titles now have changed. He no longer is a mere Master, but he is my Owner. He owns me fully and irreversibly. Should this commitment ever be broken, no other can ever own me again. I can not allow such complete possession of my very heart, soul and being ever again. This is a very deep and emotional step, which has gone much further then any vanilla marriage ever could. This is like a marriage without the option of divorce. This will carry on into death. Matter of fact, it is my express wish to be cremated after my death and to have my ashes placed inside a sarcophagus (miniature) and when my Owner dies the same will be done to him or reversed. This is done this way for us so I can continue serving him and be as one with him after death. You see, the phrase - until death does us apart - does not come into it. I hope this will demonstrate the deepness of our devotion to each other.

Now on to the Collars you may also find.

Cyber Collars

These are virtual Collars often virtually worn by people who have no idea of the real world. Their relationship is very real to them, just like a character on Warcraft is real to their player. They live the life of a Dominant and Slave in their fertile imagination. No problem as long as nobody gets harmed, however when those that are inexperienced and claim to be long time Masters or Mistress get a hold of a person in real life and now try to implement some of the foolish and downright stupid Ideas they have spoken of on the net, often real time harm can happen. It is completely exiting to some to think that they can hang a female only of her freshly pierced nipples from the ceiling and then flog her until she bleeds, do this in real life and you may have her death on your hands at worst, at least your will have ripped her nipples wide open.

Velcro Collars

Most of us who are in some version of the real time BDSM call it that because of the easy on and easy off attitude. What such a person however seldom seems to realize is that those with Velcro Collars are seldom respected in the BDSM Lifestyle Community. If you are Mistress or Master today, collared to so and so tommorrow and the next day you are nothing just to return to being collared by another a week later and then suddenly return to dominance all the while wearing various collars from various people, you are a laughable and very pathetic human being. Those types are plentiful and sadly are one of the causes of ridicule for us.

In the end, this world of ours has become a sad place indeed, when slaves don't wear their collars out of false respect to the vanilla community and the young of the vanilla community wear the Collars for fashion Accessories. Perhaps, it is time to step out of the Shadows and educate those that need educating and bring a bit of honor back to our honorable lifestyle.