A College Guide to UW-La Crosse

Congratulations! You've just been accepted to the University of Wisconsin La Crosse, UW-L for short. You are now an eagle... and you're about to become an alcoholic.

UW-L is a notorious drinking school, which is both good and bad. While parties and drunk friendlies aren't uncommon, neither are drinking tickets or deaths. I myself received two drinking tickets during my three year stay at UW-L, and by the time I'd left two college-age males had been found in the Mississippi river.

But don't get me wrong, drinking is fun.

Aside from damp cellar basements, there are many places to drink/party in La Crosse. UW-L is an overall friendly city, with plenty of good communication taking place between strangers. Whereas some larger party/college cities are seemingly unsafe, causing students to isolate themselves from those whom they do not know, La Crosse is a great place to meet new people and, therefore, follow them to the nearest gathering.

Many of these gatherings take place in the notorious downtown area of La Crosse, just off of the Mississippi river. There is a multitude of bars worth visiting.

One of the best bars is definitely "Legend's," which is great for the younger crowd. Also, it is easily one of the most absurd bar scenes ever; Thursday nights offer an all-you-can-drink nasty rails special for a mere [$5] (subject to change) and the bar is filled to capacity with stumbling girls and sweating jocks.

Did I mention UW-La Crosse is best known as an athletic school, with physical education and sports therapy as its biggest majors? Hope you like buttnecks!

But there are bars for the other crowds too. There's "Bronco's" for rednecks, with an excellent selection of genuinely stinky people, and "Del's" for Starbucks hippies, with easily the worst music in the Midwest.

And then there's Oktoberfest, which is its own drinking experience.

Prices are pretty much the same wherever you go, with probably the best drink specials at the aforementioned "Legend" and "Who's" (short for "Who's on Third"), which serves a fishbowl filled with booze. Ask for a fishbowl at "Who's" and you're asking for a headache.

And there are plenty of great places to go when you, the UW-L student, are hungover in the city of La Crosse.

You can always go and admire the view of the city in the beautiful bluffs. There are plenty of hiking trails, but the roads are somewhat dangerous in the winter.

Another great place to go is to "Mr. D's," which is famous for its sausage and biscuits. I know I've definitely stumbled in there a few times on no sleep, only to leave revived and full of gravy. They've also got an all-night walk up window for ordering donuts-super fun!

Overall, La Crosse will be an interesting experience for you. Just don't forget to show up for class Monday morning.