A Comparison of Some Reflections Upon Marriage and Letter to Lady Bute

A similar theme is shared between Mary Astell's "Some Reflections Upon Marriage" and Lady Mary Wortley Montagu's "Letter to Lady Bute." The two women, who were friends, held the opinion that a woman is equally capable as a man in the way of reason and mental capacity. Both agree that women ought to be well educated, and that they have equal ability as men to do so, and to use said education. However, Mary Astell had a stronger conviction in regard to this opinion than Lady Mary Wortley Montagu; so much so that it is reflected in the public nature of her work and in the way she lived her life.

Both of the aforementioned pieces that reflect this opinion are very personal. "Some Reflections Upon Marriage" was written by Mary Astell when she was in quite an angry state; "Letter to Lady Bute" was a personal letter to the daughter of Lady Mary Wortley Montagu.

The women viewed marriage similarly but quite differently. Mary Astell never married; she lived with, and by the monetary support, of other women. In fact, her views of marriage are clearly outlined in "Some Reflections Upon Marriage:"

"Let us see then what is their part, what must they do to make the matrimonial yoke tolerable to themselves as well as pleasing to their lords and masters?" (2428)

This statement demonstrates that Mary Astell clearly sees marriage, for a woman, comparable to the life of a beast of burden, living only to perform her duties to her owner, her husband. After all, the only education offered a woman was, indeed, training for the post. The schools were scarce, but should a woman have the opportunity to attend one, she'd be educated in the way of music, dancing, embroidery, and singing.

Furthermore, women were taught that it was their duty to be quiet in church, exhibit obedience, and to only grant extensive study to the art of household management. In a separate work of Astell's, and probably her most popular, "A Serious Proposal to the Ladies," she proposed that an institution be built for single woman as an option to avoid marriage. She proposed that at this institution women would study the same subjects as men, such as science, philosophy, religion, and language. (87-99)

Astell did not believe that marriage, if it were as it should have been itself, an undesirable position. Her idea was that if a woman were properly educated, that "marriage might recover the Dignity and Felicity of its original Institution; and Men be very happy in a married State." (87-99)

Astell comments further that men do not seek the proper qualifications in a spouse. If he marries for love of beauty or for money does not matter, they are each irregular appetites for which he acts, and he is not acting out of reason. On the part of the woman, she ought not to marry out of a sense of duty, to please their friends or to escape life's hardships.

In entering into marriage for the proper reasons, as explained in and essay written by Kathleen M. Squadrito, "Men must choose qualities in a woman that relate to the soul and spiritual values. Astell appeals for as much equality in marriage as possible. She finds subjection to have no end or purpose other than to enhance the pride and vanity of those who have power. If all men are born free, how is it, she asks, '... that all Women are born Slaves? As they must be, if the being subjected to the inconstant, uncertain, arbitrary Will of Men, be the perfect Condition of Slavery?' According to Astell, men practice the type of arbitrary dominion in their families which they abhor and exclaim against in the state. (87-99)

Lady Mary Wortley Montagu agreed with Astell in regard to the need for women to be educated in the manner of quality equal to men. She believed that a woman who had an appetite for learning could be very happy in it, and would want less for traditional womanly things, such as fashion. In some of her writings, however, even if she didn't make a clear statement to this end, she gave the impression that she did not truly believe a single life practical for women.

Montagu, at times, eluded that marriage was still a desirable position, and still a woman's goal to attain that status. At the very least, she exhibited the idea that in the way that things were, they could not be changed. However, in education and a love of learning, a woman might make her plight a more bearable one, and she might actually even find happiness in it. In her "Letter to Lady Bute," which was a letter to her daughter, she explains to her daughter that a woman could work in educating herself, but she would be wise to keep it secret. In letting others know that she is learned, she might jeopardize her chances at attaining the comfort and stability of marriage.

The "Letter to Lady Bute" was written to Montagu's daughter to discuss her granddaughter, who had the longing for education and love of learning. Montagu writes of her enthusiasm of the girl's intelligence and grasp of subjects that she studied. She also wrote, however, that although she felt a woman's education was a thing of importance, as she raised her daughter her focus was the opposite. Montagu wrote to her daughter, "The ultimate end of your education was to make you a good wife (and I have the comfort to hear that you are one); hers ought to be, to make her happy in a virgin state. I will not say it is happier, but it is undoubtedly safer than any marriage." (2712)

In writing this, perhaps an underlying message to Lady Bute is that Montagu hopes that her daughter has a strength that she herself was lacking as a mother; that perhaps Lady Bute would, as Montagu confessed to having attempted herself, create a home for her daughter that she might not want to leave, but also, to encourage her to opt out of the situation as to become a wife. In the letter to her daughter, Montagu also confessed that without the persuasion of her husband, she might have been able to succeed. Montagu is urging Lady Bute to not raise her daughter to be a wife, as she herself had done with her own daughter. In having married herself, and in having trained her daughter to become a good wife, Montague proves that she did not have the conviction to take action and live her ideals. Even when her letters were published after her death, having been edited by her great-grandson Lord Wharncliffe, many were excluded. In 1837 J.W. Croker of "The Quarterly Review" commented that because of that, the "work is known to have been published with certain prudential restrictions," and commented that after more of the letters were added to her previously published work that:

"We cannot but suspect, also that every reperusal of Lady Mary's Letters will tend to a doubt whether her merit has not been somewhat exaggerated. When they first appeared, a traveller and an author of Lady Mary's rank and sex was a double wonder which was much increased by Lady Mary's personal circumstances, and by the vivacity, spirit, and boldness of her pen. But now that the extraneous sources of admiration have run dry, we confess that the intrinsic value of the letters seems less striking; and that if we were to deduct from Lady Mary's pleasantry and wit, those passages which a respectable woman ought not, perhaps, to have written, we should very considerably reduce her claims to literary eminence. The additional letters now produced will add little to Lady Mary's fame, and take little from her reputation." (147-96)

Mary Astell wrote for the purpose of having her ideas known, and in hopes to inspire change among women. Although, as noted most eloquently in an essay by Catherine Sharrock, Astell often used the words 'us' and 'we' in "Some Reflections Upon Marriage," with the assumption that her audience was most predominately female, that "Astell's occasional catering for a male audience is not insignificant. The idea--implicit within the optimistic trajectory of a development or evolutionary reading-that she might gradually be able to free herself from the restrictions of the dominant ideology is deeply qualified, even as she offers her most incisive alternative to masculine author-ity." (109-24, 218-21)

Astell also, for the purpose of having her ideas considered more so by the male society, chose to abandon the term 'Author.' She explains her choice for doing so because

"We are all of us sufficiently Vain, and without doubt the Celebrated

Name of Author, which most are so fond of, had not been avoided, but for very
good Reasons: To name but one; Who will care to pull upon themselves an Hornet's Nest? 'Tis a very great Fault to regard rather who it is that Speaks, than what is Spoken; and either to submit to Authority, when we should only yield to Reason; or if Reason press too hard, to think to ward it off by Personal Objections and Reflections. Bold Truths may pass while the Speaker is Incognito, but are not endur'd when he is known; few Minds being strong enough to bear what Contradicts their Principles and Practises without Recriminating when they can" (87-99)

Mary Astell and Lady Wortley Montague were of the same opinion. Women ought to be educated, and the life of a wife was not the most free and best life for a woman, yet it was the unavoidable condition for many. However, their primary contrast in influence resides in that Mary Astell wrote for the masses; her philosophical work was published for all to read and consider. However, Lady Mary Wortley Montagu wrote and published prose; otherwise, her ideas about matters of women's education and choices (or lack there of) were primarily confined to personal correspondence through letters, which were not published for the public until after her death.

Works Cited

Astell, Mary. "Some Reflections Upon Marriage." The Longman Anthology British Literature, Volume 1C. Damrosch, David, and J.H. Dettmar. Third Edition. pp 2728

Squadrito, Kathleen M. "Criticism about Mary Astell." A History of Women Philosophers, Volume III: Modern Women Philosophers 1600-1900. Waithe, Mary Ellen. Dordrecht, Netherlands. pp 87-99.

Montagu, Lady Mary Wortley. "Letter to Lady Bute." The Longman Anthology British Literature, Volume 1C. Damrosch, David, and J.H. Dettmar. Third Edition. pp 2712

Croker, J.W. "Criticism about Lady (Pierrepont) Wortley Montagu." The Quarterly Review, Volume LVIII, No. CXV, February 1837. pp 147-96.

Sharrock, Catherine. "Criticism about Mary Astell." Women, Writing, History, 1640-1740. Grundy, Isobel and Susan Wiseman. London: B.T. Batsford, Ltd., 1993. pp 109-24, 218-21.