A Day in the Life of a Road Warriorr

I was staying at the Residence Inn in Richmond right across the street from one of my company's network office. Perfect place to park for a few days, I could walk to the network office and the district offices are just an hour or two drive away.

I went for a run after a long day of meetings to get the heart rate up and break a sweat. After my run I decided to walk over to Panera to grab a bottle of water. I had to climb up a short grassy hill to get there and encountered a retention pond at the top. It was a beautiful day, late in the afternoon and I paused to take in the pastoral scene.

My senses heightened from my run, I could smell the water and the new spring growth of vegetation around the edges of the pond as well as the willow tree at the top of the hill. A welcome respite from the stress of the day.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed movement and saw two geese, about a hundred yards out, running in my direction. "Damn geese!" I thought, "they probably think I here to feed them". I was momentarily distracted by something else long enough for the geese to take flight. The serenity of the scene evaporated and I was jolted out of my reverie by the sound of two loud thuds and hissing as the geese landed within ten feet of me. I was caught totally off guard and unprepared for what followed. The alpha goose, apparently the male, whose head was as high as my mid-chest, ran towards me in full attack mode. I did an instantaneous assessment of my situation and a survey of the surrounding topography.

My options were few. I could run into the pond and deeper into the gooses natural element putting me at further disadvantage. Not a good choice for any number of reasons.

My escape was blocked in another direction by the willow tree and its low hanging branches. Option three meant running down the hill, always a bad choice when being pursued by a flying creature. My only other option was to stand and fight.

Immediately the male goose leaped into the air with a flap of his huge wings and went right for my face. I took a step back to evade the attack. That's when I noticed the sharp claws on each of his webbed toes and the inch-long spur on the back of his legs. I knew I was in trouble and that this might end very badly. He landed and lunged at my bare legs, this time from the ground. I planted my left foot and kicked as hard as I could. I missed. He lunged and missed. I kicked and missed. We exchanged unconnected blows at least 8 times. I know that when there was a lull in the fighting I was panting for air and exhausted, my heart pounding in my chest. He made another attempt to lunge and bite. I instinctively raised my arms above my head and spread my fingers like a fan in an attempt to make myself appear as large and menacing as possible as I growled like a wild animal. I held that position, every muscle in my body tense like a tightly wound spring, ready for the next attack but hoping he would back down. Judging by the speed with which he evaded my kicks, grabbing him by the neck was not a good idea.

Meanwhile the female was in the background honking incessantly. A crowd was starting to gather in the Panera parking lot. People were talking on their cell phones. Were they capturing the whole scene on their camera phones? Were they calling animal control? The police? PETA? Were they thinking that I was a serial goose killer? I could just see myself explaining my actions to the police, "Hey officer, I was just going for a walk and minding my own business when..." It was then that I noticed the female, six feet from the water, standing guard over a nest of eggs. Then it all became crystal clear. I understood the aggression. I understood that I had invaded their space and I was the enemy.

Slowly, very slowly, not breaking eye contact with the goose, I crept backwards down the hill. Thankful that I had faced a worthy adversary and stood my ground. Thankful that neither one of us had been injured. Thankful that I had just encountered two geese and a nest of eggs and not a mother grizzly and her cubs!