A Desperate Mistake: Small Town Cops Arrest Housewives Discussing Weekly Soap

Two Broken Springs women were arrested at Dickie's Restaurant Monday when they were overheard by BS Police talking about suicide, attempted rape, murder, adultery, kidnapping, insurance fraud, and arson. But as it turns out, the two BS women were only discussing the latest episode of ABC's comedy soap opera, Desperate Housewives. Janice Godfrey and Gayle Kinney were released under their own cognizance late yesterday afternoon.

The misunderstanding landed them in the county jail until local authorities could verify that their gossip was indeed about a fictionalized television show and not reality in Broken Springs.

Police Chief Jim Kingston interrogated the subjects shortly after several officers in his department overheard them talking about a number of illegal activities. "Once an officer of the law hears the words rape, murder, and insurance fraud, they can't help but raise their awareness to the situation and protect the community they've been hired to protect and serve," explained the Chief. "Officers Polaski and Finns interrupted their breakfast to approach and apprehend the potential criminals, after gathering the majority of their conversation on tape. Better of them to err on the side of caution and accidentally arrest innocent people instead of letting criminals go."

We have acquired a copy of the breakfast tape, transcribed as follows:

Godfrey: Can you believe that Betty nearly poisoned her own son?
Kinney: But she thought he tried to rape Danielle. Then poor Matthew... locked up in the basement. Did Danielle kill Betty, when she hit her on the head? Or is she still alive?
Godfrey: I don't know. I was more surprised that Lynnette left Tom.
Kinney: Well, Tom's a cheating bastard who deserves to be alone.
Godfrey: At least he's not like Peter, sleeping with his girlfriend's son.
Kinney: I know! I would've deserted Andrew too. Since when does 'honor thy mother' mean jumping into bed with the man she's dating?
Godfrey: I liked Peter better than George, though. I was happy when he killed himself.
Kinney: Bree sure can pick 'em, can't she? If only George hadn't killed Rex. I know Rex had an S&M fetish but I think they could've worked out their problems.
Godfrey: Like Carlos and Gabby did. Looks like they won't have to kidnap their next baby.
Kinney: Gabby always did like to rob the cradle. Remember John, her underage gardener she had an affair with?
Godfrey: How can I forget?! Do you think Susan and Mike will ever get back together?
Kinney: Not if Edie has anything to do with it. She's already burned down Susan's house because she slept with Karl.
Godfrey: Well, she was married to him at the time...
Kinney: Puleeze! A marriage of convenience! She only married him for his insurance so she could have that wandering spleen operation.

It was at this point in the tape, right after the mention of insurance fraud, that Broken Springs police approached and apprehended the subjects on counts of conspiracy and aiding and abetting criminal activity. According to witnesses, the women tried to explain to the cops that they were talking about Wisteria Lane, to which an officer was overheard to answer, "Isn't that near Sunset Drive?"

The women were held without bond for 20 hours before the secretary at the jail confirmed their story about the fictional Wisteria Lane. Broken Springs police later apologized to the two women for the blunder.