A Disaster Story: A Trip to Tampa, Florida

We had just met a few weeks before. He was a handsome graduate student studying exercise physiology and I was finishing my Masters in Music Technology. One of my best friends was visiting Tampa, after having left for South Africa to marry her true love, and I was excited to see her and meet her new husband. It was not a long trip. From Miami, Tampa was five hours away. I thought that my guy friend might enjoy the break from studies. Plus, did I mention he was super cute and smart?

Florida Travel Trip #2
When opting to go on vacation or visit friends in Tampa, always check the water in your used $500 car.

I was used to my 1989 Ford Tempo overheating occasionally. I had bought the car for $500 and had to constantly replace oil, water, and everything else the car leaked. The air conditioner did not work, the headlights barely worked, and the bumper was held in place with wire and tape after I accidently hit a tree trunk at a movie shoot. Needless to say, when the car began acting up, I was not too surprised. However, when it threatened to entirely die on me, hours before reaching Tampa, I promptly lost it and had one of my many meltdowns.

Florida Travel Trip #3
When opting to go on vacation or visit friends in Tampa in a dilapidated car, be sure to have a South African missionary handy to jerry rig your headlights.

My initial plan was to drive entirely during the day, to avoid dealing with my car's extremely dim headlights. Having to stop all the time, I found that my trip to Tampa was going to take place partially at night - not a good thing when Tampa is known for its foggy nights and not too friendly weather. We barely made it to my friend's house in Tampa. Thankfully, her new husband was a whiz when it came to old, used cars, and managed to jerry rig exterior fog headlights to the front of my car. So my car had bifocals now, but at least I could see.

Florida Travel Trip #3
When opting to go on vacation or visit friends in Tampa, always have AAA.

My math was meticulous. Tampa to Naples was only a few hours. Naples to my parent's house in Broward County was almost exactly 100 miles, and my AAA allowed for free tows up to 100 miles. What was my mission? Drive from Tampa to Naples in one piece, then get a free tow from Naples to my parent's house. The caveat? My new guy friend had never met my parents. I had planned their first meeting for the following week's Thanksgiving dinner at La Carreta, a favorite Cuban restaurant. There he would be prepped for their one thousand questions and the expectation that any man who meets the family must have the intentions of marrying their eldest daughter.

Florida Travel Trip #4
When opting to return from a vacation in Tampa in an overheating car, you must stop at each exit until your reach your travel destination.

We left at 7 am. We would drive until the car overheated, stop at an exit, wait till the car cooled down, fill the empty radiator with water, and continue driving until the car overheated again. At midday, we stopped for three hours, since at that point the sun's heat caused the car to overheat almost every ten minutes. Then we continued on to Naples.

Florida Travel Trip #5
When being towed back from a trip to Tampa, make sure the AAA tow truck driver knows the difference between Cooper City and Cooper's Town.

The AAA tow truck driver arrived and began the tow to Cooper City. My guy friend, who by then was a bit ripe, hungry, and cranky, fell asleep, and I dozed in and out. Upon waking up, I realized that instead of heading home by the familiar I-75, we had taken an entirely different route. The AAA driver showed me where we were heading - Cooper's Town at the Miccosukee Indian Reservation! About two hours out of the way, we had to turn back north before we hit alligators and the Everglades.

Final Florida Travel Tip
When opting to take a new guy friend with you to Tampa and inadvertently having to introduce him to your parents, try to keep your cool.

We arrived at my parent's house twelve hours after having left Tampa. My new guy friend mumbled greetings to my parents before swallowing some food and crashing on the living room sofa. After hearing about the entire ordeal, my parents decided that this guy friend was a keeper, although my mother had some misgivings that he had more in common with the Neanderthal than meets the eye. I ignored the comments, and shortly crashed afterward, not realizing that he would propose to me twelve months later.