A Discussion of Heterosexism in Modern Day America

There is no doubt in my mind that the culture we live in still strongly struggles to enforce and reinforce heteronormative values. This enforcement goes beyond mere understanding of the fact that, statistically speaking, most people identify as heterosexual and moves into an expectation that all people probably should be heterosexual. The factors and behaviors in society that reinforce this belief are many, varied and subtle.

For the sake of this article, I will discuss just a few of these.

I. The exclusivity of heterosexual references in culture

It can happen in things as simple as the words we associate with romance; we say "husbands and wives," instead of gender-neutral choices like, "spouses" or "partners." Popular men's and women's magazines, such as "Maxim" or "Cosmopolitan," refer to matters of romance exclusively in terms of the opposite sex. People are assumed to be straight unless they are specifically outed or admitted as GLBT. "Relationship" sections of most mainstream bookstores are filled with books that only address the issues in terms of man/woman relationship, giving not so much as a nod to same sex couples. Even little things like ceramic salt shakers and "his" and "hers" towels reinforce the idea that heterosexual orientation is the only legitimate sexual orientation.

Of course, it's difficult to go shopping when you're a member of any group in the minority. To a certain extent, the predominance of heterosexuality in media and culture is an expected and understandable phenomenon. Anyone who's left-handed, vegetarian, non-Christian, non-white, has a disability, speaks a foreign language as their first, has an unusual hobby or esoteric area of interest or livelihood, or anyone who has ever shopped for clothes to fit a body shape or size that is outside the norm has experienced the frustration of trying to make her way in a world that doesn't seem to recognize her existence.

However, when it comes to traits that make an individual different from that which is considered the "average," there is a keenly-felt difference between those factors which are simply forgotten about or disregarded for the sake of profit and those factors which are actively discriminated against because of social prejudice or stigma. Mere predominance is different from active exclusivity.

Sexual orientation is one area in which the cultural enforcement is well and truly pointed. Homosexuality exists in the culture, perhaps even widely so, but it is not yet widely encountered outside of its accepted, expected, and rather specialized pocket of society. It is confined to its place in society and expected not to venture into the everyday.

II. The denial of same-sex romance

In terms of societal acceptance, heterosexual pairs of all shapes and sizes are recognized and celebrated in terms of romance and family, whereas heterosexual sexuality is celebrated only when practiced by those who fit the ideals of youth and beauty.

In television, movies, and other media, gay couples are nearly always shown as young, attractive pairs. This may mean that our limited celebration of gay and lesbian relationships is a sign that we recognize them primarily as sexual, not romantic. If this is the case, is it any surprise that same-sex relationships are struggling to gain an accepted place in society? So long as heterosexuality and homosexuality are viewed not only as differently directed orientations, but fundamentally different kinds of human sexualities, same-sex relationships will not be granted equal lifestyle expressions in society.

III. Portrayals of homosexual relationships in mainstream television

While it's true that popular television is increasing it's representation of gay and lesbian individuals all the time, fiction and non-fiction shows alike continually find themselves experiencing difficultly in trying to portray same-sex relationships without having them be either a) the focal point of the show in question, (eg. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy or The "L" Word), b) heavily stereotyped comic guest roles (as in sitcoms like Frasier or Seinfeld), or c) addressed as a major source of conversation and controversy within the plotline of the show (as in Buffy: The Vampire Slayer). In other words, realistic gay and lesbian relationships get the center spotlight, or they get no light at all.

Furthermore, behind-the-scenes anecdotes tell of failed attempts to integrate any gay main characters in fiction shows that are plot-based rather than character-based: in 1993, the launch of the Star Trek spin-off, Deep Space Nine was originally intended to feature a gay main character; the space station doctor, played by Alexander Siddig. However, his orientation was changed to straight at the last minute due to homophobic pressures.

More recently, writers for the hit show CSI attempted and failed to out one of their main characters as gay. In the fourth season of the show, the ballistics technician, Bobby Dawson (played by openly gay actor Gerald McCullough) had been a regular character since the pilot. It was decided by the writers that Bobby was an openly gay man living with a partner and an adopted daughter, but when they tried to incorporate this fact into the show, they ran into a problem; outing Bobby as gay could not be done casually, and the established style of CSI's storytelling demanded that any delving into main characters personal lives be done as brief side notes so as not to interfere with the crime solving foundation central to the show's plot. They had no reservations about the idea of featuring an accepted and open gay character on their show, but in execution, it proved impossible.

What these examples tell us is that homosexuality is still far too novel an idea to be treated as a mere feature of someone's life, rather than the central focus.

IV. Patriarchy and sexual dominance of women

One of the major (and oft overlooked) obstacles to mainstream acceptance of homosexuality is the expectation of male dominant relationships as a requirement for both men and women. Feminist movements have made much progress, but our society still contains lingering remnants of the days when a man established his manhood, and therefore his value, known through the domination and control of a woman through marriage. The expectation for a woman was that she allow herself to be controlled lest she be considered a troublemaker.

Some examples of these lingering expectations include: straight male insecurity over his female partner earning more money; the pro-choice/anti-choice debate, including discussions of a father's "right" to choose whether or not a woman he has impregnated terminates her pregnancy; arguments against sexual health measures such as birth control and HPV vaccination on the grounds that they will cause female "promiscuity"; high instances of sex crimes against women, and the continued dominance and higher earnings of men in business and politics.

As long as these types of issues persist, men who choose to pursue same-sex relationships will be viewed as inadequate, even betraying the "cause" of keeping women dominated. Likewise, women who pursue same-sex pairings will be viewed as threats to be controlled. Even when it is only operating on a subconscious level, this particular enforcement of gender oppression is a primary source of heterosexism.

V. Homosexuality as an "adult" topic

The perceived inseparability of the subject of homosexual orientation and that of explicit sexuality is has a hugely damaging effect on the understanding that children and adolescents have of same-sex relationships. When parents, family, and teachers are pressured not to discuss the existence of gay and lesbian relationships with children, young people will continue to develop unrealistic ideas of such relationships and their place in society, learning about them strictly from schoolyard taunts and jokes and from media portrayals that are designed primarily to make profit or promote an agenda.

The pictures of GLBT individuals and families that will be gained from this will vary; sinners, sexual deviants, sissies, dykes, image-obsessed cosmopolitans or a whole host of other stereotypes. But they will not gain a realistic understanding of them as real people.

VII. Permitted displays of intolerance

Whether they're religious rantings or just secular homophobia, blatantly anti-GLBT displays are still tolerated and allowed. Meanwhile, anti hate crime and discrimination legislation still refuses to acknowledge GLBT individuals as an oppressed minority worthy of protection. When hate like this is tolerated, even passively, it sends a strong message about the preference of heterosexuality.

Religion-justified harassment is perpetually defended and allowed under pretexts such "respecting diverse opinions." The double standard of this rationalization should be apparent in the fact that rarely is such an excuse ever suggested as a good reason to tolerate openly racial slurs. Yet allowances are still made in the culture for the validity of anti-gay bigotry.

Anti-gay slurs and expressions in popular media are generally justified on the foundation of "having a sense of humor." Nearly any kind of bigotry imaginable can use this excuse in defense of its existence, but some limitation can be placed on this attitude in the form of what audiences are willing to laugh at. As long as people are willing to laugh at homophobic humor, it will continue to be a marketable form of entertainment.

Legislative equality for the protection if GLBT individuals is protested using that argument that they are not deserving of "special rights." The label of "special rights" applied to basic protection against hate-crimes and discrimination makes no logical sense unless it is assumed that sexual orientation and gender identity are choices. Until the law catches up with what's right, a strong message is sent to society that GLBT people should go back into the closet.