A Divorced Dad's Guide to Beating the Holiday Blues

Major holidays are notoriously lonely for people, particularly for those who have divorced or separated and are now living alone. Those who have spent past Christmases with family, children and friends may suddenly find themselves completely alone for the first time in years. This situation happened to me this year, and indeed the final big holiday season of 2007 was looking to be a big bust. But there are ways to beat the holiday blues and cope with loneliness.

Send holiday cards
Send greetings to everyone you know. Your best friend in Texas. Your neighbor across the street. And don't forget mom & dad. These are people you have regular contact with throughout the year. Remember them in your holiday wishes and let them know you are thinking of them and that they are important to you.

Call your long distance friends and family
Is there someone with whom you haven't spoken in a while? In addition to sending a card give them a ring and chat for a long while. Tell them your triumphs this year. Friends are there to listen so it's ok to tell friends that you may be sad and lonely. But don't dwell on the negative, tell them how happy you are to talk and ask how they are doing as well.

Spend time with your children and people who care about you
If you have children spend as much time telling them and letting them know how special they are to you. Kids love their dads, even if they are not living at home. Take them shopping with you so they can pick out gifts for their mom or other family members. This is also a great way to get clues about what presents they want as well.

Do special things with your friends, whether they be single or a couple. The holidays offer a huge variety of concerts, performances, and festivities. Go to a sing-a-long Messiah performance. Find your annual winter beer festival and drag along your buddies. Catch Mannheim Steamroller in concert. These events will feed your need for social contact and will make you smile.

Get involved at work
At work there are plenty of opportunities to get involved. Take charge of the "Adopt A Family" campaign in your office. Local chapters can help identify a family in need. Inspire your co-workers to purchase gifts and food to help a chosen family. Remember it is the time of giving. Your contributions to others will give you a great feeling of satisfaction and push those lonely thoughts away.

Treat yourself special
Finally, don't forget about yourself. Give yourself a nice dinner out on Christmas, or better yet, prepare a nice holiday meal at home. Invite other single dads or friends who may be needing company. Buy yourself a nice gift. Nothing extravagant, but something that is needed and useful, like an electric razor, or new pair of shoes. Be sure you don't put this item on your "wish list" so you don't buy yourself something that will be given as a gift! Treating yourself reinforces that you, too, are special and deserving of happiness.

Don't let the season of giving get you down. Remember to give of and to yourself, and reach out to those close to you. The little efforts you make will reap big rewards for living up the season of celebration.