A Down Home Christmas Letter

A Christmas Letter to the Friends

Pattie Byrd
Dear Friends,

As much as I hate these copied newsletters, I find my time getting away so quickly this year, I decided it was either this or no contact. I can't bear the idea of not sharing Christmas with all of you because you know how much each of you mean to us. So please forgive me for taking the easy way out here.

This has been an exciting year for our family. Sammy, our youngest, finally got out of prison after five years and returned home. We were very excited at his homecoming, and he's been the highlight around the kids because of his new tattoos. In fact, he actually learned the art of tattooing from some new friends he made inside and is now planning on opening his own tattoo shop in his father's garage. This is wonderful news to our whole family because we were worried he'd never find his calling in life.

On the other side of the family, John's niece, Judy Ann, moved back with her three children and has been staying with her parents for about nine months now. I talk with her mom fairly often, and they've really been enjoying having the grandchildren around, although she says sometimes it's hard to keep them all occupied. Unfortunately, we don't get to see much of Judy Ann since she took that job down at the Kitty Kat Klub. I'm not sure what she does, but I'm assuming it's some kind of place working around animals, something Judy Ann always seemed to enjoy.

Our other son, Herman Lee, recently started a new career in the vending machine business. I don't really know what his new job entails, but he seems to be doing extremely well because he always seems to have plenty of money, especially loose change. The only thing I don't like about it is he works a lot of nights, so I miss having him around to watch TV with us. During the days, he spends most of his time working on the car that he's been fixing up for the last three years, and he's very excited because he thinks he'll finally get it running in a few months, and maybe he can get it off those blocks in the back yard, and we can put them back in the foundation of the house.

Our grandson is also doing well this year in school. Hopefully, he won't have to repeat the ninth grade again this next year. You know what they say, third time's the charm. Anyway, he's been really busy working on his boat he bought with his part-time job. He got a great deal on it, and he spends all his free time working on it getting it ready for next spring. By then he should have that big hole in the bottom all patched up and some seats put back in it. We can't wait for him to take us for a ride on the lake.

Mother's still doing great. She's pushing 90 this next month, you know, but she's still very much a part of the family. Although she has to sit in her wheelchair all the time now, she still manages to help around the house when I'm cleaning by holding things in her lap until I can get around to putting them up. In fact, she's in such great shape, she can practically hold a whole set of dishes at one time. What a woman!

Well, we're looking forward to having a great Christmas at our house this year and hope the same for you all. Remember you're always welcome to visit whenever you're in the area, and maybe we'll be able to drop in on you sometime this next year. It's always nice to get away from home and visit with old friends. Just let us know when you might be available.

Love to all,

The Down Homers

Published by Pattie Byrd

Pattie Byrd is a freelance writer specializing in humor commentary, reviews and news articles. She has been published in magazines and several internet sites. Growing up in the South, she maintains her lov...  View profile

31 Comments

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  • Ali Canary12/14/2009

    More interesting than MY holiday newsletter!

  • Patricia Sicilia12/4/2009

    Thanks for making me smile.

  • R.C. Johnson12/4/2009

    Enjoyed reading this very much. We need more humor in our lives. Thanks!

  • Dan Reveal12/3/2009

    I love your sense of humor too! Thanks, Pattie, and Merry Christmas!!

  • Jenny Heart12/3/2009

    Great news! Happy Holidays!

  • Sandy Rothra12/2/2009

    Merry Christmas.

  • Crystal Ray12/2/2009

    *LOL* This is hilarious! Can you imagine writing something like this and really sending it out to family and friends? I can imagine doing that just for laughs! I love your sense of humor. I wonder if Santa will stop by and comment on this one? :)

  • Janet Hunt12/2/2009

    Great news from your family! Hope you each have a wonderful Christmas! :-)

  • Linda Louise Johnson12/2/2009

    Your kids are gonna kill you for this! I do wish people would write Christmas letters like this and make life interesting! Good job.

  • Catherine Spencer12/2/2009

    Just read this to my husband and we're both sitting here cracking up! Too funny. You've got quite an imagination, Pattie :)

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