A Duran Duran Satire:

The pop/rock band Duran Duran
Was a 5-member, now only a 3-man.
1980 - unknowns from Birmingham,
1988 - playing gigs from San Paulo to Amsterdam.
Andy, John, Simon, Nick and Roger
As they were,
Suffered decline,
As one would infer,
From conflicting personalities
As could occur.

First, Andrew parted, leaving
The group of 4 in rapture.
One thing that
You must understand,
Although this Taylor
Was a fun-loving man,
He suffered a
Superiority complex, you see;
Only concerned
With his own entity.
Convinced and argued
His ideas were best,
Leaving the others
Extremely vexed.
A hyper, quick-tempered
And wild kind of guy,
It was great a parties
To have him by.
At worst
His only fault
Was being on drugs,
Which led to Duran's result.
Andy did a
"Rock Against Drugs" commercial
Then entering a rehab clinic himself
Was quite controversial.

Now that their guitarist left,
As I said before,
That left Duran Duran to be 4.
But then another
Left the door,
Because his mental health was poor.
Drummer Roger Taylor
Exited the scene,
Because of his obsession
With being clean.
The poor chap suffered
"Mental exhaustion,"
As lead singer Simon said,
And left poor Roger
Home sick in bed.
With his disposition,
It is no wonder,
That Roger's feeble
Mind went under.
The quietest member
Of the band -
Such a sweet
And fragile man.
Not outgoing,
Partying like the rest;
Being home with
Giovanna suited him best.
On stage before thousands,
I'm surprised he could handle -
And the British 'SUN'
With its vicious scandal.
The rock world was just
Too much for his life -
It rendered him nothing
But heartache and strife.

But this is the way
Duran was destined to be,
And it's been this way
Through years of 3.
"Notorious" is how they
Regained their popularity -
And "Big Thing"
Will offer more, you see.
Now, of the remaining men,
I'll recite each one in
Order of egotism.

Simon John Charles LeBon,
Lead singer of
Duran Duran.
Hair - blond;
Eyes - crystal blue;
Weight - 11 1/2 stone;
Height - 6'2."
Hyper and
Quite adventurous -
Watch him closely
'Cos he's mischievous.
He's sweet at times
And temperamental too -
But don't turn your back
'Cos he'll cheat on you!
He's left many a broken heart
Around the world;
Surprisingly, he's settled down
With just one girl.
Yasmin is the lucky one,
Yet she's not the only one
With whom he's had his fun.
I don't mean
To put him down -
But one has to admit:
The man gets around.
Two Augusts ago -
Drum capsizing -
Curbed his adventurous needs,
Almost losing his life
On the high-rolling seas.
Now his mind
Is a little more sound;
He keeps his excursions
Low-keyed -
To the ground.
A vivid imagination,
Witty and keen;
Lyrics just pop
Out of his head -
So they seem.
Like: "Scandal in white
On a tangled vine" and
"By roads and backways
A lover's chance down wind."

Second, John (Nigel) Taylor,
A little less conceited -
But with whom for a girl
Many men have competed.
Looks of a god,
Exquisite, extraordinaire;
Deep brown eyes
And dark brown hair;
A perfect nose; and
Cheekbones so high -
He makes many women
Fall over and cry.
Shoulders so broad, and
A body lean and strong -
Heavenly qualities,
He can do nothing wrong.
Charming, seductive, and
Highly romantic,
He is a prince in a
Modern world enchanted.
A perfect gentleman
And the finest taste -
My goodness - I've forgotten
All about his bass.
Yes a bass, a bass guitarist -
The best of them all,
By the farthest.
He's been with Duran
Since it started,
Yet he's the one people
Would have thought to've departed.
He's the ideas man,
Strong and hearty -
How this man loves to party!
As modest as ever,
It's funny to see,
How he brags
With such dignity!

Nicholas James Rhodes (Bates)
You've left to meet -
And he's the one
With the least conceit.
His ego is nothing
Loud and roaring.
To tell you the truth,
He's really quite boring.
Don't get me wrong,
He's the sweetest of the band,
It's just he's such
A quiet little man.
Married at age 21,
How could he expect
To have such fun?
He's trapped in a
"Rock star " world,
With and older wife
And a baby girl.
He's sweet, affectionate,
And has unbound charm -
To nothing or no one
Would he bring any harm.
A beautiful man,
And a small physique -
His taste in attire
Is truly quite chic.
Light blond hair
And deep green eyes -
He's an artist as well,
To no one's surprise.
Friends with the late Warhol -
One of the best -
His creative mind
Is never at rest.
He makes music on
The piano and keys;
Lovely chords
And beautiful melodies.
The deepest voice -
A British accent in part -
Its quiet tone
Aims straight for
You heart.
Though we love him dearly,
His 'fault' seems to appear,
That he makes up his face -
This darling dear.
Though he does,
No one else does it please -
But our love for him
Will never be at ease.

There they are:
Simon, Nick and John -
All of which
I have written upon.
The 3 members of
Duran Duran -
The group that will
Forever live on.
I've told their story
Of dis'member'ment and decline,
And of each member
With an aire of design.
Though it does
Not always rhyme -
I will love them all
'Til the end of time.