A Dysfunctional Coaster Wedding

The radio contest had said write a few words about why the engaged couple should win a wedding on the Borg roller coaster at a local theme park. My sister and her fiancée had spent their first date at the theme park and I figured a few lines about that would be good enough. When the station called my sister to tell her she had won the contest, she and her fiancée were both very surprised and very excited. The inclusion of the wedding gown, groom and best man's tuxedos, wedding rings, and airline tickets to anywhere in the United States along with a nice reception didn't hurt none either!

The wedding went off without a hitch on a hot day in July. It was a group wedding of ten couples. The minister was a roller coaster fanatic and was excited about riding the Borg roller coaster. The wedding was surprisingly moving yet humorous as a trekkie fan dressed like a Borg walked up and down the platform. Vows were exchanged and as the esteemed maid of honor I climbed in the seat of the Borg to make the run with my sister and her new husband. When the ride slammed back into the station, the minister then told the grooms "you may kiss your brides". We exited the ride and the press lined up to interview the happy couples as families advanced to the private reception area under the Borg.

A table was found as we waited on our happy couple to arrive. My sister and her new husband walked up to find my son and his girlfriend bickering back and forth; my daughter whining about wanting to go ride the rides; my mother, on a Rascal continually backing up and zooming forward smacking the table over and over as she attempted to get close enough to eat as my father wrung his hands saying "what are we supposed to we do now". As my sister mournfully wailed, "we're the Osbornes" a little lady overhearing walked up, patted her on the arm and said, "We all are, Honey. We all are!"