A Dysfunctional Love Story #6: Miss Lonely Hearts & Mr. Busy Bee

Yes, this couple even existed as far back as the Stone Age. This is when men went off for days at time to forage, and hunt for food for their families. So, what were Betty and Wilma doing back at the cave? They were waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Then again maybe whole Fred and Barney were gone, Wilma and Betty found their own form of entertainment. After all there always is one of the stay at home cave men! Okay, let's get down to business and explore the relationship between Miss Lonely Hearts, and Mr. Busy Bee...

Mr. Busy Bee-

This is the preverbal "Workaholic". His whole identity is wrapped up in his job. He wants to believe he doing it all for the sake of his family, but he's not even sure he believes this. More of the truth might be is his whole focus in life is climbing the corporate ladder. If he makes CEO, his life will be perfect, right? NOT! This is the type of man that is driven. If he has to lose precious time with his loved ones, oh well, that's the sacrifices he is willing to make. Being seen as a Big Wheel in his company is more important than being Big Deal at his home. His focus is strictly on the prestige of a title and monetary gain. He works, works, works, and sees nothing, nothing, nothing, of what's happening, as his family slowly falls apart.

Miss Lonely Hearts-

This is more than the bored housewife. This is the one that plays the "Waiting Game: She patiently sits waiting for her husband to change, the loneliness she's feeling to change, and life to change. She honestly believes this will eventually happen. She may even convince herself, it's all worth waiting for. This type of woman tends to be a very passive person that just accepts things the way they are, and waits for her chance in life to magically appear before her eyes. She is usually better at supporting someone else in their endeavors, rather than having any of her own. How perfect is this for Mr. Busy Bee. Her self-esteem isn't all that high, as she believes she only deserves what little bit of time if any, her husband is willing to bestow upon her. She trys to stay busy with housework, kids, and whatever little interests she might have to fill up her time. This makes the waiting more bearable.

This couple isn't even really a couple. This is two separate human beings that run into each other once in awhile. Most workaholics, never change, So while he is obsessively working his life away, (sounds like a country western song), where does that leave Miss Lonely Hearts? It leaves her out in the cold. It's not at all surprising when these women start to have those few of glasses of wine in the afternoon. just to cope with the insidious loneliness they feel. If she's not into drinking, perhaps a fling, with someone who actually knows she exists will do. The worst-case scenario is the woman who becomes an overly involved, compulsive Mom to her kids. Shudder at the thought! Will this couple stay together? If Miss Lonely Hearts is past the point of no return, and is stuck in her learned helplessness, probably so. If she catches it early, she may run not walk to the nearest exit. Sad though, it may take weeks before Mr. Busy Bee even notices she's gone!