A Face You Can Never Forget

The old woman was tightly holding a scarf that covered the right side of her face. I was six and walking down Kissena Blvd in Flushing, Queens. She looked embarrased- I couldn't figure out why, until I walked past her and looked back. I saw the purple colored deformity that she was hiding under the scarf. I was horrified and felt sorry for her at the same time.

Many years later, I learned she had a hemangioma. Even now, several generations later I feel compassion for the woman-for all the stares and ignorant comments she must have endured. Some people delight in being creul. I inherited protruding ears and was called "dumbo" and "Mickey"-short for Mickey Mouse when I was a teenager. The insults are designed to demoralize you and make you feel stupid. I compensated by being smart, making the honor roll and being one of three students (out of 20 who took the entrance exam) from my Junior high to be accepted to Brooklyn Tech.

How did this woman compensate? What kind of life did she have? What did she do for a living? One's face opens or closes doors in business. Who would hire her? I imagined she looked scared every minute of every day, as she was constantly camoflaging her face so not to be seen by any passerby.

My father offered to pay for an operation to pin my ears back. It involves removing a strip of cartilege at the back of each ear. I told my father I didn't want the operation. I figured I could use my abnormailty as a screening test to determine friends-those who could look past it-were and those who could not-weren't. It's stood the test of time, but I've always been self-conscious.

But what kind of operation would help this woman? And could she afford it? It would be extensive and expensive. From the look of her modest clothing, I knew an operation was not within her means. Now, there are laser treatments available. My operation would have been nothing in comparison.

Everyone carries their own cross. Mine was on the sides of my head. The old woman's was on the right side of her face.