A Father Forced Out of His Children's' Lives, What is Wrong with This Picture?

Many people have the misconception that a single mother was left by the father of the children and assume the man was a jerk. Not saying that the man may not have been a jerk, but sometimes when a man leaves the mother of his child or children he doesn't always expect to be leaving his children for good. I know from personal experience that we women can be very evil and vindictive. Although, I have never kept my children from their father, I know first hand many women that have.

My husband's ex-wife keeps him from seeing his children that they share together. When we first met and moved in together we had his children every weekend, school vacation and even during the school year when she needed a break, regardless of how often. Child support was and is paid every week and on time. We have frequently helped her with car payments, rent, insurance, and food whenever she asked (on top of weekly child support). My husband and I became pregnant and this infuriated his ex-wife.

I can only assume that she was upset that he had fallen in love and was beginning a life with me. She began refusing to let us see the kids. So in turn we refused to help her out financially other than child support. Soon after this all took place she filed a restraing order against him stating he abused the children when they we're in our care. This gave her 30 days to keep the children away from us. After child services investigated our household and found that there was insufficient evidence to support such a claim, they then wrote a report for the courts stating the children were not in danger being around us.

Visits started up again, as she was unable to stop them. My husband and I decided discussing a move out of state and attempted to discuss with the mother of his children how the new visitation should work out. To absolutely no surprise to me she had yet again filed a restraining order to keep him away from the children. When doing it this time she gave the wrong address for my husband to the courts so we were unaware of the restraining order.

He spoke with her one Sunday and she told him about the restraing order she had on him and nicely told him if he ever wanted to see his children again then he would leave me and move back in with her and the kids. My husband is not a man that will bite his tongue, so I am sure the words were rapidly flying between the two of them.

My husband and I have been to court numerous times to get visitation back, but she never shows up. Since all of this has started she has moved three times, changes her phone number every time we get it, and has quit her job. We have exhausted all of our legal options. We went ahead and moved out of state. Since we have done that we were allowed to talk to his children on one occasion, but with a price to pay. That one 15 minute phone call cost us $500. That was what she wanted, money, not to see her children happy that they had a chance to talk to their father.

About a week after the phone call to his children I tried to call so I could send the children some clothes for school and the phone number was changed yet again. Needless to say I didn't mail a check or any clothes. In my personal opinion I feel she thought she had the upper hand and that's why the phone number was changed. This particular move over the check was my decision and I caught an argument because of it. Maybe I was wrong, but in my heart I know I was right. The children are worth more than the money to us. It absolutely infuriates me to think any parent can use their children as a meal ticket. We are not a bank and cannot afford to pay a fee for every conversation with the children.

We are currently seeking a private investigator in Massachusetts to locate the children and regain our visitation with them. If all goes the way we want they children will live with us full time and visit her during vacations.

I guess I just wanted to try to clear up the idea that men always leave their children by choice. I know that there are some that do, but the ones that do really love their children and try to do good by them don't deserve the same bad wrap as the rest. I am not sure if this type of absent-parent is normal or if it is rare, all I do know is mother's that choose to keep their children from loving father's need to be arrested and prosecuted for child neglect. Not allowing a child to know the other parent if that parent is found fit should be a case of neglect. Every child should be able to know both parents. When a relationship ends and children are involved, there really is no end. Hard feelings and anger should always be set aside when it comes to the best interests of the children, no matter what.