A Few Good Reasons for Embracing Your Career.

As if the issue of pitting Working Moms against Stay-at-Home moms is not already a hotbed of controversy. An Opinion column titled Don't Marry Career Women posted in www.forbes.com on August 22, 2006 added fuel to that fire when it cast a negative glare on all career women in general, and their perceived harmful effect on a marriage.

As a bona fide Career Professional and Working Mom, I feel a firm need to address the issue from my own perspective. I grew up in the 1970's and as a young girl I thought that fictitious news writer Mary Richards, played by actor Mary Tyler Moore on the television show of the same name, was not only beautiful, but also smart and witty and oh, so professional. She had a good job, her own trendy apartment in a Victorian-era house, and full control over her life…what a role model. Any woman who was a child in the 1970's or later has been programmed by the media and our current society to attend college, plan for a career and expect to work outside the home because in real life, Prince Charming isn't coming!

Just to clarify, I am all for staying home with the babies when they are precious newborns and toddlers for reasons that include health and safety issues as well as the importance of parental bonding - I did it myself as a young mother in the 90's when I had two daughters in diapers. My husband was a union worker back then so the income was livable. I do realize however, that this is not an option for a large portion of American society, but that issue will be tabled for another column.

Now back to that career…as everyone who has ever had a child knows, babies grow so fast, and the next thing you know they are entering first grade. This, in my opinion, is a prime time for women regain control of their lives by going back to the paid workforce, even if income is not an issue. Even if you are fortunate enough to be married to Mr. Professional, MBA who rakes in a decent salary plus bonuses, at the very least go back to work as a part-timer or consultant, but stay in the business loop and hold on to that career!

Ladies, here are a few good reasons for holding on to your career, in no particular order of course. You have to prioritize the points for yourself:

• You are empowered to take control of your own future retirement.

• If you went to college, there will be a positive return on your (or your parents) investment. If you never started college, well good luck.

• You have an equal say in all household and family financial transactions, to include major purchases and vacation destinations.

• You and your spouse can afford to buy an SUV instead of settling for a mini-van.

• You never have to ask for a shopping "allowance" and you may shop where you please…and you never have to sneak your purchases into the house or hide them in the secret compartment of your mini-van!

• Here's something men have known for decades: Those occasional training or conference-related business trips with colleagues that take you away from the daily routine of home and office for a few days are not only good for your career, but also for your body, soul and mind! Bonus if you travel to Miami, New York, Chicago or Los Angeles!

• According to a blurb I came across in the September 2006 issue of Family Circle (ironically, a magazine geared toward homemakers which I picked up while on vacation for airplane reading), a study found that working mothers tend to weigh less and are healthier than their stay-at-home sisters. Reading that tidbit simply acknowledged what I already suspected anyway, just from casual observation and from people that I know in general.

• Your husband will be a happier man all around, because he does not carry the lone burden of paying all the bills or keeping up with the Joneses. He will have extra cash to buy his toys and gadgets too, such as video games, power tools and upgraded cell phones, and he can say "yes" to invitations to join the guys when someone scores tickets to the college and pro football games because he can afford it!

• You will never be deemed a desperate housewife, or worst of all, a displaced housewife. Remember, when you kiss your hubby good-bye each day and send him off to the office, you are sending him off to work with women who are smart as well as pretty and polished, and who stroke his ego by telling him what a great job he does on a regular basis. These same co-workers go along with the workgroup to Hooters for birthday lunches and happy hours in the name of teamwork. Don't let him forget what he has at home…do not let yourself go, and you know exactly what I mean!

• You are gratified in knowing that you can contribute as an equal partner to your household not only financially, but also in that your husband and your children are proud of your accomplishments both inside the home and in your profession because you are a role model in today's contemporary society.

This new topic of career woman versus supportive homemaker, which is simply a spin-off of the so-called Mommy Wars, opens up new and additional not-so-flattering opinions about who is a worthier person to be a wife, mother, or lifelong companion, but there really is no right or wrong. If my husband is okay with my professional status - and he is and tells me often - please respect that choice.