A Few Helpful Hints for Husbands Who Want to Help Out Around the House

There is no amount of liquid dish washing detergent that is small enough that it will not cause a cascade of bubbles to come oozing out of the dish washer door and cover the kitchen floor. I know that when you run out of the soap that is designed to go into the machine, you will, like I, be compelled to try it anyhow ( I will just use a little less than last time).

Don't try putting clothes in the dish washer when the washing machine is broken. They tend to bind up the spinny aroundy squirty thing, and any clothes that come into contact with the dish drying element will ignite. The microwave is also not a good substitute for for the clothes dryer (metal snaps and zippers).

Sorting laundry by color means the color of the clothing, not the color of the stains. This works out a lot better too. Before I knew this secret, the vast majority of the wash was either in the dirt or grass loads, and it would sometimes take a month or two to finally get a full mustard or purple magic marker load.

If you decide to do all the laundry in the house some day to surprise your wife, and you don't really know how to fold them or put them away, I've found that it is not a really good idea to pile them into a four foot high mound in the middle of the living room floor and then have your wife come home from work and catch you and your two daughters jumping in the mound like it was a pile of raked leaves.

Although it may seem more efficient, do not shower with your cat who goes psycho when it gets wet. Certain parts of the body are surprisingly more sensitive to being bitten and clawed.

If you are left alone to get the kids off to school, and you have girls, do not...I repeat, do not attempt to do their hair. And if you disreguard my warning and try any how, I can assure you that scissors do not improve the situation. I've found it's easiest to have mom do their hair the night before and then make them sleep sitting up in a chair ( they whine at first but they get used to it).