A Few Offbeat Humorous Tips for Buying a Used Vehicle

Well, I thought I would help you by giving you are few "tips" on when you should not buy the vehicle.

First...if it is the size of a tank yet the dealer says it gets great gas mileage. What he is really saying is that it will get great gas mileage because it will only go so far and then stop. You should be leery of buying the vehicle.

Second...if you get in the vehicle and cannot get out, you may want to think about it a little while longer before deciding to purchase that vehicle.

Third...if you turn the lights on but the windshield wipers come on instead, you may not want to buy the vehicle.

Fourth...if the dealer will actually go for the first price you offer him (especially if it seems really low), you really should consider going with another vehicle (maybe at another car lot).

Fifth...if the dealer uses the word "honest" anywhere in a sentence or to describe him/herself, that should be the first clue right there.

Sixth...if the dealer offers to give you a 30 day warranty that usually means that on day 31 you had better watch out.

Seventh...if there are wires hanging out from under the driver's side dash board and/or no place to insert keys, you may want to think about getting out of there real quick (and maybe even calling authorities).

Eighth...if there is absolutely no vehicle identification number to be found, again, get out of there quick.

Ninth...if it takes more than two tries to start the vehicle that may be a sure sign of trouble. Move on!

Tenth...if you try to honk the horn but your windows roll down (and they are not even electric), well, I think you should know what to do in that situation.

Eleventh...do not jump at the first one you like. If the dealer is willing to show you every car on the lot and not get frustrated, he might (emphasis on "might") be a little more trustworthy than some of the others.

Twelfth...if you kick the tires and the trunk and hood open, run!

Thirteenth...if the dealer says he will take cash on the spot with no paper work of any kind, run very fast.

Fourteenth...if the first car you see when you drive in is the one that your neighbor had just a few days ago, turn around and drive away.

Fifteenth...if the dealer says about every single car "This is our best car on the lot.", well, let me just say if you by one from that guy, more power to you (and you will need it when you are pushing the car home).

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Just a little humor from me to you