A First Real Date

So, you've been talking to this 'cyberpal' online for a few weeks, and now he wants to meet face to face. You want tips?

Navigating the transitional waters from an online relationship to real life can be treacherous, but with a couple of simple questions, success can be achieved.

How honest have you been with him (and yourself)? Online relationships can successfully transition to real life if both parties play it smart and honest. If you have been honest and real with your online acquaintance, the transition to real life will be much easier than if you have been writing fiction. Of course, it is not always easy to discern whether the person on the other side of the cyberspace connection is being as honest as you are. It's good, if you're serious, to keep a record of your conversations and check details like descriptions of appearance or employment. Please be smart enough to talk about life and not just sex.

The internet can be a great way to meet people and make new friends if you are willing to be yourself. Just like real life, genuine communication is of the utmost importance. Talk to your potential friend about your dreams, your goals, your spirituality, your priorities, your family and your politics. Talk about your strengths and your weaknesses as an individual and about anything and everything that is important to you. Once those obstacles are dealt with successfully and when you're bothcomfortable, photos can be exchanged when you've agreed on the perimeters. There are lots of potential pitfalls along the way. The old cliché's carry some wisdom. "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right." Or ... "If it's worth having, it's worth working for." It takes diligence, wisdom, honesty ... and a little luck to avoid them.

What are your real life expectations? Ladies, if you're looking for that proverbial Prince Charming, and he's been hard to find in your local life, chances are slim you will find him in cyberspace ... slim, but not impossible. Keep your expectations reasonable at all costs! Gents, if you're looking for a damsel to rescue, be careful what you seek. There are very few "Barbie & Ken" types in real life, so it is logical to expect very few "perfect" people online. Cyberpals are real and, therefore, imperfect!

Be smart! If your cyberpal is local, meet for coffee or dessert in public. While not everyone is a lunatic, they do exist and they know what to look for in a potential victim. No matter how silly it seems, if you can have another person with you on that first encounter, do it. If you cannot, at least let others know where you intend to be and what time you expect to return.

It can work. Online relationships can successfully transition to real life if both parties play it smart and work to maintain reasonable expectations from all involved. Sounds a little like any REAL relationship, doesn't it? Honest and genuine communication is the key along with a willingness to face the challenges that will surface and work through them together.