A First Time Mom's Experience with Natural Homebirthing

When we found out I was pregnant, my husband and I had a decision to make: will we go the traditional route and have all prenatal care done by an OB/GYN and deliver in a hospital, or will we choose to use a midwife and deliver at a birthing center or at home?

I had always thought I'd do the traditional hospital routine, though I've always wanted to have a natural childbirth like my mother did. I never knew anyone to do otherwise, so it never occurred to me that it may be safer and healthier to use a midwife and deliver outside of a hospital. It wasn't until I was in college that I was introduced to home birthing and midwifery. A friend of mine used a wonderful midwife and, while she ended up needing to be transported to a hospital, she did everything at home. I didn't even know you could do such a think until her experience. Immediately I was turned onto the idea of birthing naturally at home or at a center.

I really liked the idea of birthing at home, though it took a little while for my husband to get used to it. He preferred me at a center, with staff on hand and a more clinical atmosphere. I preferred home, where I was comfortable and with less people around and where I would end up going anyway. The less transporting the better!

After our positive pregnancy test we talked and prayed about where we would have our baby. We both felt like we were to use the midwife my friend used. She was affiliated with a birth center so we still had that option if we wanted. I did a lot of research about home birthing and shared what I found with my husband. I discovered studies that showed labor is easier and less stressful when at home, surrounded by familiar comforts. Often the delivery is less traumatic when the mother is able to labor in various positions and in various locations and when the mother feels at ease and comfortable with where she is and who is surrounding her. We talked it over with my midwife and she told us there are three doctors that are part of their birthing center who are on call for home deliveries in case of an emergency. Also, we lived less than three miles from a hospital should there be any need of transport and we would be allowed to go right in and deliver with the midwife and her doctor. All that put my husband's mind at rest and we decided to proceed with the idea of a home birth.

All my prenatal care was done at my home, on my couch. Our midwife came to the house once a month, then once every two weeks, and once a week as my pregnancy progressed. She brought with her a measuring tape, Doppler, urine sticks, and anything else she may need. We heard the baby's heartbeat while at our home and I did all my blood tests in my living room. No need for fasting, driving, waiting, anything. It was very calm, very normal, very easy.

As we got closer to the due date, I was sure my baby would be born on time. We chose not to know the gender and grew more excited with each passing week. My 40-week visit was the day before my due date and I told my midwife I'd be seeing her tomorrow for sure. Little did I know!

My due date was a Tuesday. We hoped I'd go into labor at night so the baby would be born in the morning, but we woke up bright and early Tuesday morning with no signs of labor. My husband didn't go into work until 11:30 am so we took a long walk around the neighborhood, thinking that may start something. We were excited and couldn't wait any longer! Sadly for us, nothing happened. He went to work and my mom drove over to stay with us. We were so sure I was going to deliver that day my husband got halfway to work and decided to call out and come home. I had been feeling Braxton-Hicks contractions for several weeks and that afternoon began feeling them more and more. Nothing painful, really, but they were regular. My mom kept saying they could continue for several days like that, which was not the encouragement we wanted to hear. Tuesday night we went to bed, somewhat disappointed, but looking forward to the next day. Maybe our baby would come on a Wednesday!

No dice. My husband went to work and stayed there and my mom and I did things around town to distract me from the contractions that didn't mean anything. I began to think maybe I wasn't ever going to have this baby - and I was only one day post due date! My mom and I made plans to go see a movie on Thursday and talked about what we would do if the baby was two weeks late, like I was. My husband came home from work and we stayed up late talking.

Then! Just before midnight, as we were about to get into bed - a contraction. A real one. That hurt. I timed it and had another one in five minutes. And again. I called the midwife and she said to wait an hour and call back. I was in labor. Hooray! Our baby was coming.

Until 7:00 am I was in pre-labor. The contractions were regular, I was dilated 5cms and it didn't hurt too badly. I thought, eh, this is easy! After 7:00 am, things kind of evened out. The contractions got more painful, but I wasn't dilating and they weren't coming as regular. At 11:00 am I was exhausted and nothing was happening. The midwife said we could either wait it out and it could be a long time (like, hours, days) before my water broke and I was dilated completely or she could break my water, which would speed things along. She said I was ready, and everything was where it should be, I just wasn't dilating like I should. So I opted to have my water broken.

What a weird feeling! I felt like I had wet the bed, and I guess I did in a way. But it didn't hurt and I looked forward to more intense contractions that would dilate me further and bring my baby. Well, the contractions got more intense all right, but the dilation wasn't happening. At this point I was lying on my bed kind of sideways, with my husband behind me so that my head was on his stomach. The contractions quickly got more and more painful and I didn't want to move at all. After a few hours, I didn't want any more contractions, either!

I had read several natural childbirth books and practiced breathing and focusing techniques. I fully intended to have an easy, relatively pain-free childbirth. I didn't expect it to be painless, but I expected to be able to coast through the pain with Bible verses, different images, breathing, and distractions. It did not happen that way. I was writhing in pain. Every time I felt another contraction come on I could only say no, please no and twist my body to avoid it. Of course, I couldn't, so I had to work through it. With each contraction my midwife told me I was one contraction closer to delivering my baby. That was a helpful focus point, but I was so tired I could barely keep the thought in my head. The contractions were still very irregular and I often had long - 10 to 20 minutes - periods to fall asleep. I caught myself dreaming several times. My husband stayed right behind me the whole time and I gripped his hand. He gave me encouragement and told me to breathe, whispered Scripture in my ear, and went through each contraction with me. My mom was in front of me and I held onto her hand, too, and she cried with me. She would hold my hand and say, "Repeat after me: God is good." And I would. And then she would say, "All the time." And I'd say it. And it helped.

Finally, after several hours of this, the baby engaged and I could start pushing. I pushed for an hour, even though I didn't want to. Each time the urge came I fought it until I had to give in and let my body do its work. It was awful, painful, and frightening. I thought for sure something was wrong and I would have to be taken to a hospital. My midwife kept checking me and the baby and reassured me everything was fine, the baby's head was turned in an awkward way. Each push tried to force the baby out in a position it couldn't go, so I had to wait. I pushed and push and at last one push suddenly turned the baby's head and it went through and began to come out. Ring of fire? Appropriate name! Oh, it was excruciating. My mom ran and got a mirror so my husband could see the baby's head. I couldn't let him move to where he could see and catch the baby, so he stayed behind me. He nearly cried and said I had to see it. I didn't want to; I just wanted the baby out and the whole thing over with. I didn't want to deal with it anymore. But the midwife held the mirror so I could see, too, and in that moment I knew everything was worth it. I didn't care about the pain anymore. I could barely feel it. There was my baby and I was going to be seeing and holding him or her soon. Two more pushes and that was it.

Immediately the midwife handed the baby to me and we got to see: a baby girl! She was squally and wiggly and slimy and perfect, lying there on my belly. I was so enthralled I didn't even feel the placenta delivery. The midwife told me I had to push again and that was it. My husband cut the cord and the midwife wrapped her up for us to hold, first my husband, then my mom, then me. Without even cleaning her off or taking her weight and measurements, we began to nurse and she knew right where to go and what to do.

It was over, the pain was gone and halfway forgotten. We had a daughter. A perfect, whole, brand new baby girl. And everything was worth it.