A Frank Review of Myrtle Beach

Myrtle Beach, SC attracts over 14 million visitors each year. With a never-ending number of restaurants, shopping venues, dinner theatres, water parks, miniature golf courses, and concerts of famous look-alikes, there's no end to how much money you can spend on promoting the continued existence of this slice of America! What is it that draws such an enormous crowd? Hold on while I take you through a whirlwind tour of a city that won't stop.

With its 60 miles of beaches, Myrtle Beach has a great view of one of Earth's biggest attractions, the Atlantic Ocean. Even the roaring waves of this mighty ocean, however, cannot drown out the sounds of the masses scurrying around like fly larvae as they shop the souvenir shops on the Grand Strand.

A shark's tooth necklace, ceramic ashtrays with a dolphin design, or custom-printed tee shirts with a sparkly unicorn on the front, are among the millions of trinkets you can purchase and put on your mantle back home, ensuring that memories of Myrtle Beach will be indelibly imprinted on your mind forever and ever and ever. The quality souvenirs, however, are only a microcosm in the large pond that is Myrtle Beach.

There are so many attractions for the whole family to enjoy, it may take weeks to recover from the assault on your senses. One of these attractions, sadly, has closed, but the hole that it has left from its absence deserves a mention. The Pavilion was located in the heart of Myrtle Beach, its sights and smells persisting through the years, unable to be erased by the general cleansing properties of salt-air.

Every year the Pavilion attracted teenagers from all over the country for Senior Week. The smell of gas-exhaust filled the air, as underage drinkers inched their cars slowly down the Grand Strand. The sense of excitement in the air could be felt as teens celebrated their completion of the nearly unfathomable task of a high school diploma. The ear-jolting screams of girls at the sight of a cute guy gave each night of Senior Week a special atmosphere.

Someone with authority led the historical preservation of the Pavilion in the form of the Pavilion Nostalgia Park, located in the new heart of Myrtle Beach, Broadway at the Beach. Here, you can see performers who, through no fault of their own, were not able to participate in shows on the real Broadway in New York City. These shows alone bring Baby-boomers from across the country to watch nightly concerts by clones of many superstars, stars so famous, most people under forty have no knowledge of them.

Myrtle Beach's biggest attraction may be the food. "Restaurant Row", as its called, is located on the Grand Strand, offering hungry visitors the most cost-effective buffets imaginable. Anything that swims can be deep-fried and served with a squeeze bottle of tartar sauce and an ice cream scoop of coleslaw, improving upon nature's version of seafood, known as "sushi" in some parts of the world.

Here in the Carolinas, we do not speak French, but when I say that Myrtle Beach has that certain Je ne sais quoi , I hope you'll know what I mean. Bon Voyage!