A Friend Taken Advantage Of
To me a friend is someone who is honest, loyal, a good listener, nurturing, not jealous of a friend's achievement or success, and shares common interests. A friend is someone to enjoy spending time with, someone who is empathetic, sympathetic, and always there for you when you need them. There are just a few people in my life who I consider to be a friend. The only thing they've ever expected from me is my friendship.
The only person who has been a friend in my past relationships has been me, not including the ones I mentioned in the previous paragraph. I am a very kind-hearted person and if one of my so-called friends were in need, I would try my best to help in any way I could, if they asked me. Sometimes, I would even offer my help. My kindness has been my weakness. As a result of this, I have been taking advantage of many times. It took me a while to realize this, causing me to have to change my ways by hardening my heart. I have also distanced myself from those I thought were friends, as well as not getting close enough to an acquaintance who I feel might need my help. By doing this, I won't be asked to help them, because it hurts my heart to say what I should say--"NO", and I'm tired of being taken advantage of. Which also lessens my circle of friends. This was a hard lesson for me to learn, until I realized I've given so much of myself and have received nothing in return. Don't get me wrong, I didn't help people because I expected something in return, I did it out of the kindness of my heart--I care about people. At the same time, repayment of the favor would show gratitude. If I helped someone financially at a time when they were in desperate need, and had no one else to depend on, I expect them to repay the money. I need it to take care of my business. People don't think that way though. Am I wrong for thinking that way? I don't think so. I feel I deserve to be treated and appreciated as a friend, not a loan officer.
Being taking advantage of is very unfair and painful when you are trying to help someone out of the kindness of your heart. These so-called friends have been best friends, good friends, acquaintances, co-workers, church and family members. The sad thing about it, if I ever needed any of these people, the reality is, they couldn't or wouldn't be there for me. To this day, I can name every single person I have been a victim to in this way. A friendship shouldn't be one-sided. People I talked to, thought I could trust, confided in or spent time with, are the same ones who took advantage of me. What angers me the most is, these same so-called friends have the nerve to still consider them self a friend of mine. A few will still try to ask for a loan, knowing good and well they have never repaid the last one. I have pride, where's theirs? I am also aware I have some blame in allowing myself to be treated this way. Now, I just observe and pray they are blessed in the way they need to be.
Nowadays, I keep my kindness to and for myself. When I'm in need, I will be able to take care of me. Although, I've never been the type of person to ask anyone for anything, if that time ever comes, I won't have to hear excuses from my so-called friends about why they can't help me.
If this article sounds like I'm angry, I'm not. If I was, I can only be angry at myself. This is just one of life's lessons which I talked about in my article "A Few Of Life's Lessons". I needed to realize who my friends were. Once a person realizes who their true friends are, they should appreciate them and be a friend to them in return. No one should be taken advantage of by their kindness being used as a weakness. We all need to help each other, and we all need friends. Most of all, everyone deserves to be treated fairly.
Published by Evette
Single mother of two and three grandchildren. Originally from Hollis, Queens, NY. View profile
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11 Comments
Post a Commenti totally agree with salleyna because she has a mind of her own in which she should stick up for herself
i can totally relate to this i have so called friends who use me all the time and i know it to i just am afraid to tell them no because i am not a person to say no if you know what i mean i have alot of stress on my shoulders because have put up with my friends crap and i hate it when they take advantage of me because then they expect it more and have tried not to give it to them but they know my weak spots and they use that against me and i hate it. it is gonna be a big step for me to start finding new friends but the school year is almost over so next year i have a chance to start over and begin a new life if that does not help me i guess ill just have to deal with what i have. which is pretty close to noone at all maybe one or two people but i dont really know if they are gonna be there for me if i need them at any time but i do know that one of my friends would drop what she is doing just to listen to me and i think that is what a friend should be called!!!!!!!!!! if you dont the
After reading all these articles, I see the pattern that if a person puts another person in the "friend" category, they have great difficulty in objectively seeing that person. What people consider a "friend" is often in reality nothing but a evil person. The good book says that the wicked borrow but don't repay. That's what these impostor "friends" are doing. The purpose of friendship is trade, the purpose of trade is profit. Throw out these unprofitable trades. Unfortunately profit is a dirty word to many, a necessary evil. Not so. Research the word profit in the bible. It appears 55 times. And the word unprofitable about the same number of times. God is a God of profit. Embrace profit, and throw the freeloaders, leaches, and parasites out of your life.
Wow!!! I say that all the time. I really know what you mean. I am real. A real friend. But people do not appreciate the word friend. I to have been treated unfairly, by a friend. Thinking maybe not this time. I liked reading your article. Because it makes me feel that me separating myself from those who only intent is to destroy and prevail above me are not my friends. So I should not feel bad in any way by doing so.
I can relate to this article on so many levels. I've realized that so many of my friendships stayed afloat because I kept them thriving. When I stopped calling or coming by I never talked to or saw any of my friends. I believe at one point they were good friends, and somewhere down the line turned aquaintance. Or maybe they should have always been just an aquaintance. Who knows really. When we choose someone as a friend it is possible to have bad judgement, just like relationships.
PS: I have tried three times to give this piece and the picture 5 stars; yet, each time I tried, the rating would not stay! Please know that I did try to give you the five stars that you so rightfully deserved, Miss Evette.
I have learned the difference between acquaintances and friends...at first, the truth stung and I felt heart broken over some of the ones who I really hoped had been true. In life, if we grow and are fortunate enough to listen to our inner voice, we learn to let go and free ourselves of those whom we really need to free ourselves from. I appreciate your honesty, Evette.
I thank God that over the years I have "learned" what a true friend really is. You are right it took going under "a few of life lessons". But friends show up when they have no idea that your life is falling apart and you need someone to just listen. That have that inter sense of something being wrong. We live and we learn--most of the time the hard way. Thanks for a great article!!!!
I love your honesty here !!...a true friend is hard to find !....but if you have one..you have a Gem !!!...Excellent work here !!!
Thanks for relating your personal experience, Evette. I can certainly relate! I have also distanced myself from people and consider more people that I come into contact with to be my acquaintances rather than my friends.
Sophie