A Funny Little Christmas Story

This is in no way my favorite Christmas memory, but it may be one of the most unforgettable. It was six years ago and I was 9 months pregnant with my one and only child. My son's father and I had a long day of presents, family and for my son's father heavy drinking. Needless to say he passed out very early and I was left to clean up the mess. I had been feeling unusual all day, but when you are pregnant for the first time there is a sense of familiarity with not feeling like yourself, so I didn't pay much attention to the cramping and pressure.

As night came the flurries of snow that turned the day traditional, became a full on blizzard. If I remember correctly there was about 2 feet of snow and it was falling at a New England rate. My discomfort was becoming pain as the evening went on. Fear filled my body because I thought the time had come to see my new son. I went to my son's father and shook him. His alcohol induced slumber threw me into panic as visions of giving birth on the floor of my rundown apartment filled this holy day.

With irritation my son's father finally woke up and I said, "I think its time. I think I'm going into labor." With a growl and a sigh he said, "There's like 3 feet of snow outside and I'm really tired. Are you sure? Man, we aren't going to be able to get to the hospital."

"Well do you want me to have the baby on the floor? What are we going to do? I need to go to the hospital." The pain got more intense and the cramping was pushing down on my back, pelvis and hips. Terrified I said, "We can call an ambulance."

"No way! I'm not paying for that. Get dressed and get your bag. Ill drive." he yelled as he got up off the couch. I watched him put on his shoes with disdain for having been woken up and inconvenienced. When I think back on a situation like this there is no question to me why the relationship ended only weeks after my son's birth. Though that is the makings of another story.

I went in our room and got my backpack that I had prepared for such an event. I didn't want to wear my stretchy yoga pants out into the snow so I took a pair of maternity jeans out of the closet. I dropped my yoga pants from my body and sat down on my bed to put my leg in the jeans. As I leaned forward a sharp pain left my stomach and made its way to my backside. It escaped in a long, eruption of offensive smelling air. It felt as if it went on longer than a song. At that moment, all the pain had gone and I lay myself on the bed, shut my eyes and began to fall asleep. The last thing I heard on that Christmas night was, "Are you ready to go...ugh what is that smell?"