A Funny, Regifting Kind of Christmas

Regifting continues to become increasingly popular as well as socially acceptable. However, the concept behind regifting is not new and people have been practicing it for years. My first known experience with regifting occurred many years ago when I was a child and left me with memories as well as valuable insight about human nature and gift giving.

At the time, my best friend, Tina, had invited me over to her home to spend time with her during a special Christmas celebration and holiday gift exchange involving family and relatives. Since Tina's family always seemed to find different and fun things to do, I was very excited at the prospect of going. At first, I was not allowed to accept the invitation, but then my parents changed their minds and allowed me to go.

My mother also gave me some money to buy a gift for Tina. There was a game I discovered while we were out shopping that I became intrigued with. It was like nothing I'd ever seen before, and I was was very interested in it and eventually bought it for Tina so she could enjoy it, too. Although it cost more than what I'd originally been given, my mother paid the extra cost and also had the store clerk gift wrap the item.

However, while Tina and I were buying gifts for each other, she informed me that the holiday gift exhange this year would involve her relatives and parents exhanging gifts from items they already had around the house. These could include gift items they'd received in the past that had remained unused or items that had been unwanted and were still in their original packages or containers. They could also include store products they had purchased that were new or in good to excellent condition. Additionally, these items might have been purchased by mistake or as unneeded duplicates that had never been returned for refund or exchange.

I must have asked a million questions about what I considered to be a rather strange holiday gift exchange and I was curious to learn more. Tina explained that two of her aunts and an uncle had recently lost their jobs at a local company that went out of business. Additionally, everyone in the family was taking turns helping out as much as they could with the high cost of health and personal care for their grandmother. From conversations my friend had overheard as well as discussions with her mother later on, Tina discovered that the idea of not buying any new presents for the holiday gift exchange this year started out as a joke but was eventually agreed upon by all of the adults. What was also agreed was that Tina's parents and relatives would buy new gifts only for the children and their own spouses.

When the holiday gift exchange finally took place, the results were sometimes funny as well as interesting. An aunt named Marie, for example, gave Tina's mother, Helen, a special jewelry kit to make a variety of bracelets and necklaces. Another aunt, Catherine, immediately commented that it was a gift that she had given Marie two years ago at Christmas and she would recognize it anywhere. She asked Marie why she had never used it, and Marie replied that while she very much appreciated Catherine's intentions, she had just never found the time or interest in making jewelry. She also added that if this holiday gift exchange had not come up, the kit would have sat in her basement forever right next to other unwanted items, just collecting dust and taking up space.She would have never thrown the gift away, or given it to someone else since the present was from someone very dear to her. I remember very clearly seeing Catherine's face light up as she smiled and accepted a hug from her sister.

Meanwhile, Tina's mother, Helen, was looking over the kit she'd just received. Catherine eventually asked her if the gift was something she'd really use and she indicated she wanted Helen to be honest. Helen remarked that she didn't want to hurt Catherine's feelings, but while she could see herself wearing one of the finished necklaces or bracelets, she, too, had no time or interest in making the jewelry. Then she suggested that Catherine go ahead and take the gift back as it was clear she was really the individual who would most appreciate and enjoy using it. Catherine accepted, but not before Helen agreed happily to accept her choice of any of the jewelry pieces Catherine would make and show her later.

I do not remember all of the happenings at the holiday gift exchange that year, but I do remember that it was fun and everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves. However, there are a couple of other memories of that evening that stand out, one of which was when Tina's dog, Rex, somehow got into a package of fruitcake. We heard someone yell and everyone raced to the kitchen. There was an opened package and a very messy fruitcake on the floor, partially eaten, and Rex was nowhere to be found, having sped off from the room like a jet when he was discovered. Luckily, Rex had not eaten enough of the cake to cause him any major physical probems later, but the incident did ignite the start of a conversation about fruitcakes that all of the adults got into.

In addition to unedible gifts, Tina's aunt, Claire, had been giving out fruitcakes for Christmas the past few years. When Uncle Ted commented, "At least the dog likes the fruitcake", there were some laughs but Claire did not think this was so funny. With a serious face, she asked Ted what he meant by his remark and wouldn't back down until he addressed her on it. What followed became an honest discussion in which the fate of many fruitcakes was learned. In some cases, they were passed on to others. In other cases, they were thrown out after going stale because no one could be found who wanted them or they had hung around the house too long.

Additionally, it was learned that one adult had allergies to some of the ingredients in the fruitcakes and could not eat them, a couple of other adults enjoyed Claire's fruitcakes very much and ate them every time, and several others absolutely hated any kind of fruitcake. It was finally agreed that from that point on, Claire would give fruitcakes only to those who had indicated that they would be willing to eat them. Nevertheless, her feelings did not seem to be hurt as Tina's parents and relatives reminded her that it was the thought that counts in gift giving and that they all really appreciated the time and effort she had always put into buying and packaging the cakes.

The other memory that stands out regards the gifts that Tina and I exhanged. Tina's reaction to the game I had bought her was to give me a polite "thank you". However, I sensed that she didn't find my gift to her to be as exciting or as much fun to play with as I had. While the art supplies she gave me were something I might use over time, they were not something I would have cared to spend my own money on or would have asked for as a gift. However, after talking about the presents, we both decided to swap them so we could get what we really wanted. I was ectastic to have my game to play with after all and Tina couldn't wait to start painting with the supplies she'd bought.

Unfortunately, my mother was not as thrilled with the outcome of our gift exhange and demanded that I give Tina the gift I had bought for her, insisting that she did not raise her daughter to buy gifts for people and then take them back. I protested and even cried but it didn't seem to sway either of my parents. Finally, my father talked to Tina, and Tina convinced him that she really did like her art supplies much more than the game, so my parents allowed me to keep my prized purchase.

At the same time, however, my mother made me realize an important lesson. If you buy a gift for someone and take time to discover as much as possible what that person really likes, chances increase that your gift will be enjoyed and be well used. If, on the other hand, you purchase a gift based on assumptions of what a person will enjoy as well as what you, yourself, enoy and get excited about, chances are increased that the gift will be stored somewhere, thrown out, or show up as a gift for someone else-or even for you.