A Future and a Hope: When Change is Necessary

How do you feel when someone "apologizes" to you for his wrongful actions, and then continues the same harmful behavior? You would likely see the person as untrustworthy-- a hypocrite and a liar. While it may be presumptuous to think that God sees a person the same way, the implications to one's religious honesty and honesty to God are something to consider. This subject is, in fact, one common ground shared by most Biblically-based religions-- although each has its specific rituals, the theme is the same: Change involves more than words-- it requires positive action.

Although it is not dismissed as unimportant during the rest of the year, in the Jewish faith the ten days of Rosh Hashanah is based primarily on the need to assess one's actions and to right the wrongs done to others. Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, is the time to be clear about one's repentance and amends. "Cast away from you all your transgressions which you have committed and make yourselves a new heart and a new spirit" (Ezekiel 18:31) is not to be taken lightly-- it is about our relations with ourselves, with others, and with God.

An old issue of the United Synagogue Review magazine had an article which compared these High Holy Days to similar concepts in 12-Step Programs. In the Jewish teachings, the process is:
1. Stop. Simply stop doing the wrongful or harmful action;
2. Acknowledge the fact that it is indeed wrong;
3. Make amends to whomever the wrongful action has harmed;
4. Change. Resolve to not continue or repeat the action.
"The Return," in its fullest satisfaction, however, is not complete until we have proven that we will not repeat the same action in the future.

As the USR article stated, 12-Step Programs contain a similar concept-- it's all about Change. "We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves... We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs... We made a list of all people we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all... We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others... We continued to take a personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it."

In the Catholic faith, confession is a sacrament-- it is an outward, visible sign of an inward spiritual grace. It is about Change-- not only a person's willingness to admit a wrong or a sin, but equally relevant, the willingness to refrain from committing the wrong again.

One of the most popular passages in the New Testament speaks to all who profess Christian faith. In John 8, the woman who had committed adultery was brought before Jesus by her accusers. His words to her: "Go, and sin no more."

It is not enough for one to state that he has done wrong; it is not enough to toss off a light "apology," or even to "ask forgiveness;" to effect its true purpose, the two other factors are essential-- amends and change. If you have taken something which did not belong to you-- give it back; if you lied-- admit the lie and tell the truth; if you have caused damage-- repair the damage. And the effect the true nature of Change-- not only commit to not repeating the wrongs, prove it by keeping your word.