A Good Deed Takes a Humorous Turn

Some of the funniest things happen when you least expect it. How true it was on Saturday night of this year's Summerfest, when we raffled off the beautiful mountain bike! The mountain bike was a gift donation from a friend of the parish who wishes to remain anonymous. The donor wanted the proceeds of the ticket sale to benefit our parish youth group. I am personally grateful for such a generous donation. But I would have liked to have had a picture of the expression on my face when the little boy who drew the winning ticket handed it to me to read the name on the ticket.

There I was, standing in front of the crowd of people who were anxiously awaiting the name of the winner, and I was wondering how I was to read the name that was written on the ticket. It was obvious to me that the person who bought the ticket also wanted to remain anonymous. How did I know this? It was simple: the purchaser of the ticket signed his name as "Fat Ass." I am not kidding! I swear that I am not making this up. How funny could this be for me to be standing there, trying to be as honest as I can, to announce that Fat Ass won the bike? The crowd roared with laughter. I don't know if they were laughing at the name of the winner or the look on my face as I announced it. Either way, it was way too funny.

There was a phone number on the ticket, and now I faced another situation of having to call the winner. Can you imagine what was going through my mind as I dialed the number to inform the winner that he now owned a new mountain bike? Who would I ask for on the other end of the line? Should I say, "Is Fat Ass there?" Now fearing the question, "Who is calling?" I guess I could have said, "Why, it's Smart Ass calling to inform you that you won the mountain bike."

But, thanks to Caller ID, when I dialed the number, the winner recognized who was calling and answered the phone by saying, "Father Molka, is that you?" When I heard the voice on the other end, I knew right away who it was.

The long and short of it-I asked the winner why he signed the ticket that way. His response was, "I didn't want anyone to know I won the bike because I promised myself that if I did win the bike, I'd donate it back to the youth group. You know me, Father...can you just imagine my fat ass on that bike anyway?"

On behalf of the CYO, Father Molka wanted to thank good old "Fat Ass" and let him know he truly has a "wide heart."