A Grand Occasion

Sometimes to commemorate

a grand occasion

one makes an illusional gesture toward

the gentler gender

whom then slaps your face

or laughs explaining

'did you not know that I was gay'

both blonde girls holding hands so keen

I thought they were twins.

I was at the school earlier

wherein the same thing happened

with a more dire result

the girl now offended claimed --No--

'you're so ugly'

but what a beauty she was to me

so few had come to speak with her

I thought my chances just as equivalent

as some fellow with spiky hair

in the fake practice of gallantry.

Now this was my last try

on this grand occasion

that might lead to Destiny's abode

but then the waitress so plump and cute

even having drunk twice the whisky as me

with an un-matched pride and sniff had said,

'Ugh. You're drunk, go home!'