A Guide to Being Social for the Ulcerative Colitis Sufferer

As an ulcerative colitis sufferer, how should you act in public, how should you act around friends - frankly how should you be viewed? It's true, you have been dealt a bad physical hand; do you have the right to mope? You sure do have the right to mope; you also have the right to be lonely.

I have found that as an ulcerative sufferer the only workable public persona is that which bespeaks honesty and which reflects a positive attitude. In fact if one doesn't have a positive attitude that should be their first goal. It doesn't matter what field you are talking about or what illness you may have, if you don't think you have a shot at improvement, at best you'll take a longer time to heal and at worst, you won't get any better or get anything accomplished.

When determining what you think is the best way to be viewed in public, let me ask you to consider who do you like being around? Do you like being around someone who is always down in the dumps and having a "pity party" or someone who has a ready smile and is happy to see you? It isn't much of a contest, is it?

One of the frequent side effects of ulcerative colitis is complete social withdrawal; fear of "flaring" in public. It is easy to become tentative and self-absorbed as we walk through life. However, when we do that, we not only create "hyper-vigilance" with respect to our condition (which can create the very thing we are trying to avoid) but, it prevents us from interacting with other people and showing the tiniest modicum of interest in their life. Yet, when we are thinking about other people, it takes our mind off of ourselves giving us the best opportunity to adjust to social situations.

Does this mean that we should be "grin-wearing" chronic back-slappers? No. What it means is that there is natural integrity to our social behavior which brings us to my final point.

I have found honesty is a relaxant. When going out, if I take all the precautions I can such as taking a Valium and some Mylanta to keep things calmed down, my attitude becomes "What happens happens". If a situation occurs where I have to talk about my condition or where I am put in a position that I have to excuse myself, I have done all I can and there is more dignity in being honest than in trying to "fool" people all of the time. The fact of the matter is that people who care about you dismiss flares; they don't care other than about how you are. The people who find flares offensive or your ulcerative colitis offensive usually aren't worth knowing; that has been my reality.

What should your social persona be? Your social persona should be you. It should be, as I was taught years ago, "the very best you that you can be". That is the good thing about life. Identify those people who, when you are around them, help make you the very best "you", you can be. Remain honest and upbeat Let people know you, not your ulcerative colitis condition and, if it becomes necessary to introduce them to your ulcerative colitis, show them who the boss is.