A Guide to Borrowing from Family Members

When people hear the word borrow they tend to think in terms of money but there are many items other than money that may be borrowed. Respect is something that everyone deserves including family members. If you wouldn't just help yourself to someone else's belongings why would you assume it is okay to do so with your family member's belongings? Most family members don't mind lending an item but when you take without asking it can present problems.

Have you ever borrowed your sister's sweater or your brother's DVD without asking? Do you often borrow items without asking? Do you just assume that the person won't mind? Do you assume it's okay to take something without asking because the person is a family member? If you answered yes to any of these questions then you need to learn proper borrowing etiquette.

It is common courtesy to ask before taking someone else's belongings. Even if you're only borrowing an item of clothing from your sibling's closet you should ask first. My daughter can wear my clothes and I really don't mind most of the time. The problem is that she tends to leave them everywhere. If she spends the night at a friend's house so do my clothes and it may be weeks or months before I get them back, if I ever do. My son loans out my DVDs and neglects to tell me. I usually find out when the person mentions that he/she forgot to bring them back.

Not only is such behavior rude, it's irresponsible. There are three rules to keep in mind when borrowing items from relatives or anyone else for that matter.

Ask first

Always ask before borrowing. Don't just assume that a family member won't mind. They deserve the same courtesy that you would extend to anyone else. Don't assume that just because a person is a member of your family and lives in the same household as you do that their belongings are up for grabs. They deserve the right to privacy just as you do. Your family members are not obligated to share their clothes or other personal items with you or any other member of the family.

Return items in a timely manner.

If you borrow an item make sure you return it in a reasonable amount of time. Keeping items you borrowed for an extended period of time will make the lender less likely to allow you to borrow items in the future.

Keep it in good shape.

Return the borrowed item in the same condition it was in when you received it. If the item does become damaged in any way offer to replace it or pay for it.

Put yourself in the other person's place. You probably wouldn't like it if someone borrowed your belongings without asking. You wouldn't be too happy if you received it back damaged or not at all. Keep the other person's feelings in mind and treat them with the same courtesy you would expect.