A Guide to Da UP

Living in Michigan's Upper Peninsula is truly a unique experience and for those who visit it can be a bit confusing as those of us who live here have our own way of thinking and doing things. We have expectations of our tourist and we expect them to understand that we aren't going to be changing who or what we are anytime soon.

First Yooper is Pronounced You-Per. If you live North of the Mackinac Bridge (prounounced MAC IN NAW) you are a Yooper, if you live below the bridge, you are a troll. Most of us Yoopers don;t much care for trolls because they show up in their fancy snowmachines, they call snow mobile's and forget that when ripping through a backyard that they are tresspassing on somebody's HOME! Of course, it does not occur to them when zipping out of a trail to look and see if there is a dog, child or car that has the right of way.

Yoopers don't see hunting as a something that brings home trophy's, while we are proud of the racks that hang on our walls, we consider that food on our table and if you are wasting the meat, you are taking food from our table and killing an animal for no other reason but sport. Hunting is not sport here, it is survival!

Trolls think it's funny to ride the tailend of a Yooper after dark while driving through wooded areas in hopes we will go faster than 45. Yoopers hope trolls will pass us at 75 behaving like the jacka**es they are and discover WHY we don't drive 45 after dark.

Trolls complain about the bugs, hey around here we use bug spray (many of us call it bug dope around these parts) like most use perfume. You don't like the bugs come prepared and please don't ask dumb questions like "Do you have west nile here?" We have bugs, with bugs come a myraid of possibilities. PREPARE and don't whine.

We dislike trolls most of all because they come here and fail to understand this is sacred land. What makes it sacred? The people that have been here before us and the children that will be here long after us. Trolls come here and don't respect that this is our home. Tossing cigarettes out the window or failing to control a campfire starts fires and damages out home. Few clean up after themselves and few truly understand they are visiting our home. Trolls are welcome but remember rule number one here in Da UP (that is no up but two letters U P), leave our home exactly as you found it and we will all get along.

We respect our elders and we say yes ma'am, we hold the door for women and the elderly and we take off our hats and stand at attention when the National Anthem is played or the flag passes us.

We are set in our ways and we aint changin', so if you are visiting, abide by our rules and we won't feed you the bears.