A Guide for Men: How to Understand Women

The number one rule in understanding women is; Women do not understand themselves.

That's it. End. Women have no idea what they want. No idea why they do the things they do. No clue. Not a one.

The sooner the young men realize this, the sooner we can all get on with our now completely pointless lives of chasing women who will confound us at every turn.

If I can put down one word to describe all of the women that I have personally met in my entire life, that word would be: CONFUSED

My hate mail box is filling up, and I haven't even finished writing.

Now, some of those hate mails are from my ex(s). I already know what they want to say. Actually, thinking about it, my ex-wives, ex-girl friends, ex-companions, are a good place to start the rest of this guide.

The most likely place to start is; Why are they now my ex-whatever?

Because I screwed up!

That's it. Done. I forgot the number one rule about understanding women. I started looking for LOGICAL reasons for doing what they do, but made the obvious mistake, I asked THEM.

"If you don't know, I'm not telling you!" This oft used phrase simply translates to "I have no idea, why are you asking me?"

The only correct response to that bassackwards logic is to say: "Oh Good, so I'll keep doing what I'm doing and you will never mention it again, agreed?"

Of course this type of statement, to the logical mind, would be deemed argumentative and, or grounds for having to sleep on the couch for a month.

In Fact: It is EXACTLY what the woman wants to hear.

It's ok, you can read that over again... I'll wait...

Now that I have COMPLETELY blown your Logic Circuits, let me explain:

The little logic bomb she dropped on you was a test. It's not a test of your logical abilities, it's a test of your strength of character.

Instinctually a woman needs to know that her mate is strong. Not "wife beating" type strong, but mentally strong. Decisive, having or showing the ability to make decisions quickly and effectively.

Usually being cold and decisive is exactly opposite of what most men and women expect, when the onslaught of the emotional argument is about to take place, however in-order to understand the Instinctual logic behind a woman's arguments, we need to understand where the instinct comes from.

The hunter gatherer of old traveled around for his food. Most times, in small communities of humans, the able males would wander far off while the women and children would stay in some secluded place under cover or in a cave or hole.

The men would be gone, days at a time, sometimes silent, sometimes hunting and driving as a pack, while at the same time, women would be teaching the young the beginnings of language.

Man would take days carrying or dragging meat back to the clan, after taking days to track the animal and kill it, again, most of this time in silence. Mean while, the women designed and devised new language and studied the intricacies of emotion.

Young males would be taught some language, but when they were old enough, they would be taken out on the hunt and taught silence and strength to keep them alive just a bit longer, while the young females would continue the studies of emotions, language and child care.

To obtain a mate, the young man would have to be strong, he has to provide meat for his young family and protect his family when the time comes. Women know this, so in-order to test the strength of young men, young women had to fight them off...

What?

if a woman liked you, she would fight with you...

The woman's test here is; is this young male stronger than me?

Fortunately for the time, this test could ultimately result in pregnancy. Today however, that sort of behavior is called rape.

But the instinct is still there. Is he stronger than me?

Women need to know, in their hearts, that the man they are with will stand up to them, be stronger than them, and ultimately, protect them when the time comes. The woman needs to relax herself, emotionally, to accept that you are stronger than her, and that if she yields to you, that you will be able to be her provider, protector, and lover.

The little logic bomb she just dropped in your lap, defuse it. The real reason she put it there is that suddenly, she discovered she liked you, you had better be stronger than her.

EDITORS NOTE - At the time of this writing, the Author had just finished his second divorce and had moved back into his parents basement. He had begun numerous searches in online dating, and opted for porn site subscriptions over monthly e-Harmony fees. This is not to be taken as seriously as the title would suggest.