A Guide for Parent-Teacher Conferences

School is well under way, and it has come to your attention that it is time for a conference with one or more of your child's teachers. What do you do? The parent-teacher conference can be a very intimidating event for many parents. Teachers have conferences all the time; they even get other teachers or administrators to sit in with them, and they are the "experts." Right? Not necessarily. There is no need for worry. A parent teacher conference is not the end of the world. If done the right way, a parent teacher conference can actually be very meaningful and productive for all involved. Most importantly, your child can benefit from the time and effort put in between a teacher and parent for the benefit of the student. Hopefully, these few tips can assist in making your conference a very worthwhile experience.

Prepare

Proper preparation will help prevent poor performance. More often than not, a parent teacher conference will be limited as far as time is concerned. Teachers are notoriously busy individuals and they will sometimes have other conferences or meetings to attend. You need to be well prepared to make sure you cover everything that needs to be addressed in a narrow amount of time. Gather any necessary paperwork, make notes of questions you would like to ask the teacher, and plan your thoughts and actions. Getting ready ahead of time will help you to make the most of your limited time with the teacher during a conference.

Practice

Take just a little time to stand in front of a friend, relative, or a mirror before the conference and practice what you are going to say. Many times you might have several thoughts ahead of time but you forget them during the conference. It is so easy to get side tracked during a conference with a teacher so you want to stay focused. Practicing your main discussion points ahead of time will help you stay on point for the conference. This is especially helpful if you have problems or anxiety speaking in front of others.

Be on your Best Behavior

Parent teacher conferences can be quite intimidating for some teachers just as much as they are intimidating for parents. Some parents enter a conference angry, upset, and hostile at times. This is not a good thing to do. As a parent, you should be as pleasant as possible and display a positive attitude and calm demeanor even if you are seriously displeased with an issue relating to the conference. Don't come across as defensive. Greet the teacher and everyone present. Also, when you sit down, try not to have physical barriers separate you from the teacher. If the teacher wants to remain behind a desk, suggest that you all sit somewhere else where a physical barrier does not impede the conversation. Cordiality is of utmost importance and will set an optimistic tone for the conference.

Proper attire

We have all heard the saying, "Dress for Success!" Well, the way you are dressed during a conference will speak volumes about you. As a parent, you want to portray a serious and positive image. Dressing in the proper manner will help to convey the right message. While the following may seem silly, it has occurred. Avoid showing up in hair rollers, robes, bedroom shoes, risqué attire, and flip flop shoes. Make sure your hair is combed, teeth are brushed, and your clothing is ironed. If nothing else, having proper attire will allow the teacher or teachers to remain focused on the right thing- what you are saying as opposed to what you are wearing.

Listen

We all want to be listened to during the conference, and every parent typically wants their major points to be heard clearly. While this is of high importance, make sure that you take good care to hear what the teacher is communicating. Give direct eye contact and show that you are paying attention. Many times, teachers will provide strong feedback and tips for student success if you are listening. By all means, do not make the common mistake of everyone talking at the same time. Teachers can be guilty of this as well, but if you stop and listen you can avoid communication pitfalls.

Avoid the Blame Game

Don't utilize the conference time to blame the teacher. The true focus of a conference should be to solve problems and to make the teaching and learning experience better for your child. Far too many participants fall into the trap of pointing the finger of blame. Teachers can blame the parent's lack of participation, parents can blame the teacher's attitude or personality, or both can blame the child's behavior. It can go on and on, but the focus of the conference definitely should not be blaming anyone. Avoid the blame game by focusing on clear strategies to help your child and stray away from fault finding.

Ask Questions

There is never a bad question to ask. Do not be afraid to ask a question of the teacher. Teachers and educators in general have a tendency to utilize jargon that is unfamiliar to the average parent. If you do not understand something or some information is not clear, ask a question. Likewise, ask the teacher for tips and strategies that they think might help your child. Unfortunately, some teachers simply want to get through the conference and move on to something else. Do not allow yourself to be rushed at the questioning point. Ask your questions and then ask more if you find it necessary.

Keep Notes

Make sure you bring a notebook or pad to the conference along with a couple of pens and/or pencils. It is paramount that you take notes. If you are unable to write everything during the conference, take the time to jot down information related to the conference immediately following the conference while the discussion is fresh on your mind. Good notes can always come in handy at a later date and time.

End Positively

When the parent-teacher conference comes to a close, make certain that you end on a good note. A smile, thank you and firm handshake are always a great practice. Even if all your questions have not been answered and the meeting was not to your satisfaction, you want to leave the meeting in good taste and refrain from being negative or unpleasant. Take the high road and thank the teacher for his or her valuable time and efforts. If you feel the conference has not been a good one, you still have other avenues to resolve issues in education. At this time, however, your goal is to depart amicably and show kindness. Despite what you may have been told or think, teachers do talk and the word will spread about your extreme politeness and how well you conducted yourself.