A Guy's Perspective of a Bad Break-Up

*This honestly came from personal experiences; both my own and the ones shared with me from talking with other guys.

The thing I hate the most is that society makes it seem like whenever things go sour; almost always it's the guy's fault. Rarely ever does the blame ever fall on the woman. And since it's pretty much the guy's fault why the relationship comes to a bitter end, the woman is the only one who ends up hurt. Guys are never supposed to cry or feel pain. To quote a friend of mine's, Jay, poem, "we're just told to move on a DROP IT!"

That's the aspect of love that hurts the most. Like anyone else with emotions, men get distraught over a love gone sour as well. We go days without eating. We go nights without sleeping. We break down from the thought of our love not being there anymore. We go through Hell because we lost our Heaven.

The girl was everything to us. She was the air we breathe. She was the glow in our eyes. We even walk differently when we have that special someone to go home to at the end of the day. We feel that we can do no wrong and that we're Superman almost. We're bulletproof knowing that we have a girl in our lives that loves us. And when she goes, so does the feeling of comfort and that nothing can stop us.

What was once the feeling of walking on air is replaced with a slow and heavy walk because we feel like we have the weight of the world on our backs. Our hearts are broken and it becomes hard to breathe, both emotionally and physically. Day after day, we feel as if we're going to collapse. It feels like the world is against us. Like every thing we ever loved has left us an empty void with no means to fill it. Like every thing we ever loved has left us for dead. Like every thing we ever loved hates us. And with that feeling, we begin to hate ourselves. And what makes it worse is the fact that men are bombarded with thoughts like "we don't love these hoes" or "never turn a ho into a housewife" or "never fall in love with a b*tch". We really have no defense to this because it's pretty much world against one man.

Once we start to hate ourselves, we try to change who we are and how we see ourselves. This is most seen through the kinds of behaviors we engage in. Some are positive like getting involved in many different activities to be a cure for the separation anxiety. Other things like drinking cause us to dwell on the negative aspects and the emotional wounds tend to fester. Regardless of what we do, men, just like women, go through a very slow healing process. It's just that it is rarely ever touched on because men have always been told to suck it up, which puts us in a bad position from jump when we try to find the help we need.

The only thing I can say to any guy who is going through this is just to take it one day at a time. You can't expect to be healed from the sting of love lost in a day or a week or a month. When guys come up and ask me when will the pain stop, I can only tell them that in all honesty it will never truly end. Not only because the one we love is gone, but because the world just wants us to hold it in and simply get over it when in all reality, it's never that simple.