A Hallmark of "For Better or Worse"
Living the Vows
Only a few years into our relationship I realized that our lives can twist and turn ugly at any moment. My life took a spiral downward and an aneurysm ruptured in my brain. I was warned by my Neurosurgeon that my beloved, "might bolt through the nearest exit and end your union."
The doctor went on to quote sad statistics about brain injury patients whose relationships ended in divorce roughly 75% of the time. I recall thinking that this tidbit of information wasn't expediting my healing but later I would come to realize that he was trying to soften the blow in the event that my mate chose to leave rather than suffer along with me.
I ended up enduring (two) brain surgeries, six weeks in the ICU and countless long and agonizing months of at-home recovery. My life and my romantic relationship took a brief hiatus while my body healed but my beloved stayed with me.
The road to recovery was very bumpy and the detours were numerous but my husband's commitment to his vows "for better or worse" was steadfast. I wouldn't realize at that time that the most romantic memory that we would share for many years would be birthed during such a valley in our lives. I would come to realize the depth of meaning in Bonhoeffer's statement that "marriage sustains your love."
As a result of my brain surgery and traumatic brain injury a part of my pituitary gland had slowed down resulting in a painfully slow hair re-growth after my head was shaved. I was bald for many months until the hair slowly grew back and when it did it was wiry and out of control. Coupled with the paralysis on my right side of my face and I was a sight for the (one) sore eye that was useful to me.
After fussing with the few strands of hair left on my head that refused to be tamed and frustrated with my appearance, I asked my husband the following,
"Do you think I should get a haircut?"
He sat besides me, took my face between his big, strong hands and said,
"You are asking the wrong guy. I loved you when you were bald."
With that one statement my husband gave true meaning to,
"...to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."
Source:
Our lives, in sickness and in health
http://www.boundlessline.org/2009/06/marital-vows-that-can-sustain.html
Published by Michele Starkey
Optimist who enjoys writing, laughing and spreading good news. If I have but one life to live, I hope to make mine memorable. My epitaph will read: she lived, she loved, she left. View profile
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116 Comments
Post a CommentI returned to this article because I am whining about a silly needle in my vein for anesthetic when I have my eye surgery. You are a good beacon of light to remind me that is a very minor irritation in comparison to what others face. You are so special:)
Thank you Michele for sharing your touching and amazing story. The true meaning to "for better or for worse." I'm glad you have such a supportive husband and that you're all right.
I'm sure you know what a lucky woman you are. You are both blessed.
WOW! To have someone like that in your life must be a wonderful thing! There are so many people out there that can not handle things like this you are very fortunate! God is looking over you and blessing you indeed!
"...the marriage that sustains your love." If only more people would realize this.
A true sign of love ever lasting. I went through two masses being removed from my chest when I was 23 years old. My husband was my rock, he cared for me, as well as our new born son and and our 5 year old daughter. Some men are beautiful.
Wow! Thanks for sharing such a personal story. Thank God for someone so inspiring.
Inspiring story, Michele. I'm stating the obvious really. Your neurosurgeon didn't pull any punches did he? A good man wouldn't run if he truly loved someone. I hope your article will give comfort to people. When people are struggling to cope, seeing how others cope with adversity can have a galvanising effect.
Congrats on the blog, your journey, and the ability to share it with us. I am very touched that we can share this journey with you. We never know where our roads will take us, do we?
You know, I really don't understand why some people would kick up their heels and leave when their spouse really needs them. I'm glad that everything worked out for you!