A Hasty Decision

On the fourth morning of the seven days of mourning Yoske' was driving to the pastry shop, with mixed feelings. Except one single phone call Smadar did not make a move, did not come to pay him a visit as he hoped and was sure she'll do. He has not seen her since that last and late afternoon hour, when he had to leave and rely on her loyalty. A fact that troubled him with a considerable impact.

Except his longing for her and his sub conscious guilt feelings on the other hand, for rising that early of the seven days of mourning, and having shaved before the end of the traditional thirty days of beard growth yesterday, and once again this morning - when some people might come yet to console him, Nehama's relatives and his own, their neighbors, who for truth sake Nehama and he did not had yet the chance to meet - but just the same, they could have surprised him and come.

After a short round in the side streets not far from his pastry shop he located a vehicle that was about to move. He waited till that stranger would evacuate the parking space with his mini van, and parked right away his own car in the empty parking space beside the pavement. Having switched off the engine he got off, he locked his car, and made his way on the narrow pavement getting used to the horrid humidity so common to mid summer.

The closer he got to his destination the more excited he became; in spite of his experience in much more critical situations, incomparable with this trivial matter - he did not doubt Smadar's loyalty that was not the problem that bothered him, having left her to manage his pastry shop all alone.

While turning the Balfour-Alenby conrner he noticed an encouraging number of clients, sitting around the pavement's tables. As he was getting nearer, a young girl came out of his pastry shop carrying a loaded platter in her hands, a small apron tied to her narrow waist adorned her thighs. She started to serve the clients, which were sitting outside. He passed her catching a glimpse of her young and well shaped figure, and entered his pastry shop.

Despite the relatively early hour a considerable number of clients sat round the hall's tables. Smadar was standing behind the espresso machine on the counter, busy with it and with the cash register. She raised a pair of surprised eyes, watching Yoske's features, but a smile appeared on her lips right away.

'Welcome,' she said as if he was one of the clients. 'You're rather early, has anything unexpected happened?'
'No, nothing in particular,' he answered with a sense of immediate relief, and sat down in his habitual corner. He was quite used to her capricious character, to the swift transitions of her moods; to the virtual screen, which she kept setting time and again between the two of them.

'I'd a visit of several friends on the first day, and after two dreary days with nobody calling, I've had enough and decided to stop it.' He hardly finished the sentence when the young waitress that he saw outside entered, and passed him quickly on her way to the counter - interrupting for a friction of a second the line of vision between Smadar and himself.

'This is Sivan,' Smadar remarked dryly, turning to Yoske above Sivan's head. 'I'll complete the introduction between you two, right after things will calm down a bit.'
Sivan smiled to him embarrassedly, a slight blush appeared on her young face; she took the loaded platter and rushed out again.

Yoske's sudden appearance, the short parley with Smadar, attracted the attention of several clients that were sitting inside. Some of them were familiar to him, he didn't think though that they knew who he was exactly. Anyhow all of them including those who were sitting outside, sneaked glances towards him, eying him with much curiosity.
No wonder, Yoske thought. They hardly know who I am, and they had some 'sightseeing' these three last days. The mourning notice is still hanging behind Smadar's back, and it did serve some of them no doubt, as a good opening to make a pass at Smadar, or even at this young teenager. He raised his eyes to Smadar again, he didn't have any intentions to walk up to her, and frustrate all her many present admirers among their clients. All the things that have to be clarified yet can wait, up to the dead hours. He summed the matter up to himself.

One of the clients raised his arm, and Smadar left the counter and and went over to serve him, passing Yoske on her way, excusing herself with a little smile.
Where is that Sivan? Yoske wondered coughing slightly and turned his eyes to the front glass wall. The unexperienced Sivan was still outside, one of the clients kept her attention with some small talk.

Time passed by, Smadar managed to serve Yoske with his usual double espresso twice, before the pressure eased down a bit. A short while before eleven o'clock they were able to sit down together near the same table again.

'How come you haven't completed the seven days of mourning?' Smadar asked him right after having sat opposite him. She seemed to him released and radiated so much self confidence, it surprised him. Before he managed to reply she went on. 'But I'm glad you came along, the last three days' income is still in the cash.'
'It's alright, I've forgotten all about it, you did a fine job. But you could visit me and remind me, or call me at least...'

'I would have visited you at least once, but we were under such stress these last three days.' Without waiting for his answer, Smadar turned her head around and called out loudly to Sivan, who was at the doorway watching the street outside. 'Sivan come and sit with us!'

What's the rush, what bothers her? If I'll know that chic after a few more minutes, would it change anything? He wondered surprised, but kept on talking to her: 'The truth is we didn't think hard enough on that matter...' While Sivan was on her way towards their table. But Samdar ignored him and was watching Sivan with an affectionate smile. When Sivan reached at last their table and sat beside, Smadar turned to Yoske':

'Well, that's Sivan she's doing a fair job I'd say, I wouldn't have managed without her.'
'Glad to meet you,' Yoske muttered briskly and extended his right hand to the young teenager. They exchanged a short and tender handshake, while Sivan smiled back embarrassedly. He was still watching the young teenager lovely face, when Smadar added a short sentence that made him lose a heart beat.

'I'm quitting at the end of the month.' She noted looking straight into his eyes, her indifference stunned him.
So that's why she summoned Sivan to sit with us, to prevent a possible unexpected angry reaction on my part, to shorten the unpleasant process as much as possible.

The thought flashed in his feverish brain. She's done with me, she's getting out of my life. He coughed slightly and lowered his face watching the palms of his hands that laid on the table in front of his eyes. He filled his lungs with a breath of air, before raising his face and watching Smadar's eyes again.

'What could have happened in these three days? You didn't have such intentions as far as I know.' More than these few words would be pointless in Sivan's presence. On the other hand, I can't ignore Smadar's wisdom... I don't know what levels of degradation I would have reached, if we were sitting all alone the two of us. He kept on thinking while pulling himself quickly together, and accepting stoically what's awaits him.

'Well yes, I didn't have such intentions at all, but during these three days I've reached that decision, after many hesitations and it's final.' Smadar summed up decisively. 'Sivan would help you a few more weeks, and till then you'll find someone else who would solve your problem.'

'No I don't think so,' Sivan barged in surprising both of them. 'I'm quitting too.' She added blushing to the roots of her hair.
'May I know at least the reason, to that unexpected decision?' Yoske asked Smadar ignoring on purpose the young teenager who sat beside him, and disappointed him too with such impudence.

'The suicide bombers, the continuous stress, I'm sick and tired of it. I want to live somewhere else in peace, the next few years.'