A House on Fire II: Still Smouldering - Real Descriptions of Fake Books

See Johnny Run.

Johnny Golightly has found himself on the wrong side of the law in this new children's classic. Written to be read aloud to children with simple declarative sentences like, "Johnny robbed the register," and "Johnny learned his lesson the hard way," and "In a fit of criminal genius, Johnny joined the armed forces, cache in hand, opting for the Navy because people say it's the easiest branch despite the sea-sickness and closed-quarters," as well as the classic final line, "See Johnny sail to freedom on the U.S.S. Lincoln".

Procrastination Station - A book all about procrastination.

Coming Soon.

Gem & I - A Tale of Twins

Gem and Stacy are twins who grow up in the sticks. When their old aunt passes away, they are left alone in the countryside. They pick up and move to the city, Gem with dreams of making it big on Broadway and Stacy with visions of great wealth. Both sisters make good on their dreams in unexpected ways, losing track of each other along the way. Gem does get into a Broadway show - as a makeup artist - and Stacy becomes the city's number one crack dealer. She is rich beyond reckoning, but a car accident puts her in the hospital. When her mother comes to visit, the house of cards imagination of her life of wealth and crack comes crashing down.

How Many X's?

Fredand Mary want to have a child. High school sweethearts, married for over a decade, had decided to wait to until they were established with good jobs and a home of their own before starting a family. That day arrives, finally. Fred and Mary begin the long awaited discussion. What do we want, a boy or a girl? Thanks to modern science, this is a question they CAN answer. Fred sends away for a gender selection kit and its arrival threatens to tear the couple apart.

Ron Johns' Bon Bons

In the fast paced world of television cooking shows, Ron Johns has knocked off the last of the old titans to stand alone on the top of the proverbial mashed potato heap. When an assistant discovers that Ron Johns has been using a secret ingredient in his recipes to win contests, a taut-nerved game of cat-and-mouse ensues. Will the assistant go public about Ron Johns bon bons, or will Ron Johns nab the con and save his soufflé from falling?

A House on Fire II: Still Smoldering

A story of ashes and insurance claims. No one is hurt. The family is away deep sea fishing in Florida.

My Little Pony.

A novelization of the 1980's cartoon show. This "ripping good read" (London Sentinel) culminates in a fluid, virtually animated passage describing a Bali-Wood dance hit put on by the ponies as they round out their concert world tour in India.

These titles are real excerpts from a fake book consisting of real titles and descriptions of fake books by Eric Martin. Maybe with enough fake books and fake book descriptions, the fake book about fake books will become a real book about fake books. As the book, at this point, remains un-real it is un-for-sale at amazon.com, amazon.com type stores including Ebay and Barnes & Noble as well as barnesandnoble.com. If you would like to purchase this book at amazon.com, amazon.com type stores including Ebay and Barnes & Noble as well as barnesandnoble.com, theauthor is very flattered but regretfully must reannounce that the book is still fake and so is not available at amazon.com, amazon.com type stores including Ebay and Barnes & Noble as well as barnesandnoble.com.

Vote on your favorite fake book title and description, suggest a title for the book on fake books, or express deep feelings about how, sometimes, the greatest testament to the truth of the human spirit takes the form of pure imagination, i.e., fake stuff by commenting on Eric Martin's page.

Wait! There's more. This is the second fake book installment. To see the first installment of fake books, follow this link - fake books/A House on Fire.

Bottom Dollar Press is a copyrighted feature of this series. Or, whatever, you can use the name too.