A Humorous Comparison of Work and a Disney Vacation

A vacation at Disney World in Orlando, Florida can be full of excitement and laughter, but it can also be full of tears and blisters. Let's face it even though it's called a vacation, going to Disney World is anything but. A trip to Disney World is hard work, damn hard work. Now granted you're not going to find yourself behind a desk mucking about with papers or whatever it is you do for a living. But you will find yourself physically exhausted, yelling at your spouse, and knocking into complete strangers while trying to get a better view of the Main Street Electrical Parade (which is pretty much the same as it was twenty years ago except now the colored lights are all white).

The Morning Routine
My guess is that you're morning routine goes something like this: you wake up around six in the morning, take a shower, get dressed, eat your breakfast, kiss your spouse, and jump in the car and fight the morning traffic on the way o work. Starting your day at a Disney resort is relatively the same. You'll still have to get up at six if you're going to make it to the park on time. (If you're staying at one of the Disney Resorts you'll be able to enter the parks earlier than people who are staying in hotels off the resort.) This mean there is no sleeping in for you. I don't know about you but one of the keys to a real vacation for me is getting to sleep in.

After you get yourself cleaned up and out the door you'll need to make your way to breakfast. Here will be the first of many lines you'll be standing in. Most hotels offer an expensive buffet for you to feast on. The items may sound appealing: bacon, toast, waffles, eggs made to order, but they all taste the same, and they all taste like sawdust. After shelling out $30 bucks for breakfast you'll make your way to your choice of transportation to get to the parks. If you take your own car you'll be paying to park your car at one of the parks. If you ride the bus that is provided by your hotel you'll find yourself standing in a long line behind the people who got up even earlier than you did. The morning commute isn't sounding so bad at this point.

Lots and Lots of Walking
Unless you're a mailman I don't imagine that you're job entails a lot of walking. After all, most messages can be made via phone call, email, or inter-office memo. For me, the walk to my boss's office was about 30 feet. So I didn't log in a lot of miles at work. In the Magic Kingdom you're going to be walking somewhere between five and seven miles. Of course that walking will be broken up between going on rides and standing in line for said rides. All that walking is bound to beef up your appetite.

Eating
Now at work I imagine your either bringing your lunch, go out to lunch, or eat in a work cafeteria. Either way it shouldn't be too expensive. Let's say you go to fast food restaurant for lunch. It shouldn't cost you more than seven dollars or so. Disney also offers fast food style food. Of course it's a hell of a lot more than seven dollars and you'll find yourself standing in another long line just to place your order. Once you have your meal good luck at finding a place to sit down.

Depending on what your work schedule is you should only be eating one meal while at work. Thanks to all the walking you're going to be doing at Disney World you'll need lots of energy, which means you'll be eating lots of snacks and drinking plenty of fluids. And nothing is cheap. A soda is going to run you about two bucks. I love it when people say they're going to bring in their own food and snacks (which is allowed) to help save on money. It never works out. You always end up buying food in the parks. And what these people usually find themselves with is a lot of uneaten homemade snacks and a big empty space in their wallets where there money used to be. On the upside the food that is for sale at Disney World is really expensive and tastes worse than the food you ate for breakfast.

Crowding
The office you work in may be small. There may be a lot of people occupying a little amount of space. But I guarantee you it's nothing like the size of the crowds you'll encounter while waiting in line for a popular Disney ride. For example during the summer months you'll wait two plus hours to get onto Splash Mountain. You'll have people on your left and people on your right. You'll look behind you and not see where the line ends. You'll look in front of you and not see where the line begins. You'll be hot and sweaty and pissed off at everyone who surrounds you. Most of your day will be spent like this.

Back to the Hotel
After enjoying all your Disney fun you'll be headed back to the hotel. Depending on the time of year you visit Disney World it will be somewhere between ten o'clock at night and one o'clock in the morning. The time won't really matter to you because all you'll be concerned with is being able to sit down and rub your tired and blistered feet. Of course it will be awhile before you're able to sit down. You still have a few more lines to stand in. You'll stand in line for the monorail. You'll stand in line for the trolley to get to your car. You'll stand in line to catch the bus to make it back to your hotel. If you had decided to stay home for your vacation you'd be asleep by now.

When you finally do arrive at your hotel you'll be too tired to shower and too tired to rub your blistered feet. But on the plus side you get to do it all over again tomorrow. But it could be worse. You could be at work.