A Humorous Guide to Dating for Single Parents

Ok, we have all been there - popped a few kids, losing the hubby then wanting to get back on track, back on the scene so to speak. No problemo, just suit up, dress smart and get some action. Kids can easily be hidden or mustachioed with a fake mustache to conceal them as business staff and driving instructors. Look, if you want to get back on the scene you need to be smart - be serious, no one wants a parent, we are all looking for some fresh piece of meat, you know? You need to pretend - and have you considered adoption? It is never too late, in the state of Illinois it is perfectly legal to put kids as old as 16 away for adoption.

All problems have a solution. I know you are strongly attached to your kids but you do not need to dispose of them permanently. Just hide them in the attics or give them $500 and tell them to go out and play.

Now as for dressing up you might need to consider something both flamboyant and extravagant. Splurge, dude, it is now or never. Find the fanciest dress in the store, put in on and let go. Then go the hairdresser, the eighties are in you know. Do not forget the high heels and the plastic bouquet.

Where do you meet your next partner? Wherever, I am telling you. It could be in the supermarket, on the playa, in Timbuktu... Hold his hands first, feel your heart pounding a bit quicker. That is it - you are now dating. The next step is to kiss and fondle the guy a bit and then dump him. Remember dating is not about playing for keeps, it is more like testing out different alternatives without any permanent bonds.

I know a lot of you girls out there like men with mustaches and I would strongly like to recommend Teheran. I am speaking from personal experience when I am saying that those guys all look like Freddie Mercury plus they have got the goods, know what I am saying?