A Letter to Mavis

It has been so long since last I wrote, you probably thought I fell into the great abbess, never to resurface. Well, actuary, I've been ill with some kind of abominable cramps. At first I thought it was merely food poisoning or perhaps from eating too much spicy stuff - I did have an interesting dish with lots of acumen one night -- but through the process of abduction I was able to determine that the acreage in my stomach was indeed some kind of bug.

My doctor was able to find an anecdote for it, and though it accosted quite a bit, it was worth every penny.

The air has been so dry this spring, I've started putting some ablution on my hands every morning. That helps.

My long hair has gotten rather frizzy and unmanageable, so I've decided to abrade it. I didn't do it well at all the first few times, but finally I got the hang of it. You know what they say, if at first you don't accede, try and try again.

Oh, I have sad news about Mr. Oglethorpe next door. He developed some kind of awful affluence, and he was so sick that an ambulate came and took him to the hospital. He's such a nice man, so religious that I think he ranks right up there with the apostates, like a knight in shining amour.

While he's in the hospital, I'm taking care of all his pets. He has a wide variety of pets, and so many of them! He's so fond of the animosity kingdom.

The snow has melted and all the assiduous trees in my yard have their leaves now and look so pretty, very acetic and pleasing to the eye.

Well, you've probably been waiting for me to talk about Mr. Irving's funeral. It was very nice, formal and acrimonious just as he would have liked it. I'm glad he planned it all in advance, and it sort of had a nice anathema to it. The minister read some meaningful averses from the Bible, and he had very good annunciation.

I've been trying to sell all of Mr. Irving's fishing stuff, including his ice augur, but I'm not sure how to get the word out. I'm thinking about talking to an adjacency to see if they'll post something in the paper for me.

Mr. Irving was such a pleasant neighbor, always so good about keeping my house bug free, especially keeping the anachronisms out. I hate those things.

I've decided to learn how to bake homemade bread. My first attempt will be to make a nice aloof of awry bread.

Yours Always,

Fifi